Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Yes, I’m back. Not that I went on an exotic adventure or somewhere far away or anything so exciting. I did however decide to try my hand at writing for other sites, some of them pretty big ones. But as I learned my freshman year of college, I am not a rule follower. (Shocking, I know) It’s a bit amusing when I think about it. As a kid and teenager growing up I never broke any rules. Then college happened.

Now it’s not that I don’t understand and agree that one must remain professional and abide by the rules when it comes to published articles. I can and have done it many times. I totally get it. But this is exactly why I started this little venture of mine in the first place. I found I don’t enjoy following guidelines and refraining from using “those words.” You know, mostly the 4 letter variety. I am very expressive and sometimes use colorful language to be so. Those other sites, don’t appreciate it, and it’s ok. I’ve actually met some really cool people that I hope to continue the relationship with. Especially the guys at SportsNewsMagazine. (Yes, that was a shameless plug for my friends) But, after finding that I had a horrible case of writer’s block I stepped back and realized it wasn’t because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I wasn’t allowed to be me. And if you know me, I cannot be restricted. I’m going to tell a story and I’m going to do it my way. If you don’t like the language I sometimes use, then stop reading. I am who I am, and just because I may drop the proverbial “F” bomb every now and again does not necessarily make me a bad person. Well, I guess it’s all in how said F word is used.

Speaking of the F bomb. My beloved Oklahoma Sooners…….WHAT THE FUCK? Now, I realize Houston is a really good team, and goes without saying that Ohio State is really, really good, but come on! We were at home and to lose so badly really did hurt my heart. I will say, that game was one of the best times I’d had at a losing game, but the sting is still there. Did I expect us to go in there and march out victorious? I’m not going to lie. I had my doubts, but I really did think it was going to be a better game. Our defense sucked. Our offense was not great and the only player I can say that really appeared to be working was Joe Mixon. I’m not saying our players did not try, this is strictly my opinion. Mike Stoop’s defense has not impressed me at all so far this season and the Baker Mayfield high we were all on last year has seemed to turned into a mere Boone’s Farm buzz. I think I’m still waiting for Samaje Perine to break out, but only time will tell.

Let me say this, the fans did their job. We showed up, we striped the stadium and we were loud. Memorial Stadium was rocking – even after an hour and a half weather delay. Also, I have to admit Buckeye fans travel real well. My estimate is 10,000 of them. There were a lot, and the ones I had the pleasure of meeting and sitting with were all very pleasant, even when we were getting our Sooner red asses handed to us on a Buckeye gray platter. We sat with the infamous Buckeye Man and still managed to have a good time. (I publically apologize, Buckeye Man for accusing you of being BuckHIGH.) What I didn’t enjoy is hearing the team lead their fans in the “Basic Defense” chant after the game.

Pic:Fun withthe Buckeye Man

For those of you that don’t know the story behind the chant, here is the short version: OU freshman, backup QB Austin Kendall in an interview referred to Ohio State’s defense as being “basic” and said Mayfield would “light them up.” Did not happen. This comment went viral and there were t-shirts made and sold throughout Buckeye Nation and there were even bulletin boards made. Remember, Kendall is still just an 18 year old kid who probably got a time out from Bob Stoops, but come on. I know MAYBE he meant it as some sort of football term, but it was bad karma and gave the Buckeyes even more fuel that Saturday night. And they ignited it.

So here we are 1-2. Thank God we had a bye week this past Saturday. Not only did I get some housework done, but I had a stress free football afternoon. (Shout out to the Steelers for ruining a perfectly good weekend yesterday) Now this Saturday the Sooners travel to Ft. Worth to kick off Big XII play against the 21st ranked, 3-1 TCU Horned Frogs. Once again this game makes me nervous. Not to mention the following week is the Red River Shootout in Dallas. Don’t get me wrong, I have mad love for my Sooners – always have, always will, but this very well may be the longest season ever. I will not be going to the game in Ft. Worth, but I will be watching it on tv. At home. Where I cannot be kicked out for throwing things or cursing loudly. I go to the OU-Texas games most years but I still have not solidified any plans. (Who am I kidding, I’ll be there) I suppose any loyal fan knows the pain I speak of when your team is not living up to your expectations. But maybe that’s the problem, as fans maybe our expectations are set a little too high.

All I know is, the Sooners can still win the Big XII and I still believe. I refuse to let the thought of a team from Texas winning the conference enter my head along with the I hate Texas voices. It won’t be easy, but it can be done. My prediction is we go into Horned Frog territory and come out winners and then put Texas in their place the next week. (Their place being in the pile of Bevo shit from which they emerged.)

It’s good to be back. Thanks for reading.

P.S. Enjoy that 19th hole, Arnold Palmer. You played a hell of a round on earth.

Until next time, Boomer Sooner.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa

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The term “bracketology” should be changed to “crackology” because every Mid March I become addicted to brackets. Blame social media. Blame my upbringing. Blame the dirty, satanic sports websites that push this drug on me. I keep getting “requests” to join their bracket challenges. They know I can’t say no. One would think I would find some pleasure from this chaos they call the NCAA Championship Tournament, but it is impossible when all I can focus on is having a winning bracket. I may need an intervention. Yes, my name is Leesa and I am an addict.

I have 15 or so scattered brackets across my work desk as clearly Bracketology has become my full time job.  As I plow through the pile I ask myself why. Why do I torment myself every single March only to be disappointed and ashamed of my failure. WHY? Do I really love it or at this point is it simply a challenge? Are these brackets that clutter my workspace like the hot guy in high school that I tried so desperately to get to notice me and once he did I figured out maybe he’s really not that hot after all?

bracket

Although I really do love college basketball, I must admit this is really more about the challenge than my love for the game. I have been filling these things out for years and each and every year I fail. Miserably. I – just one time – want to be the March Madness winner at work. Not because there’s some really cool prizes, but because I want to win, dammit. I typically complete 5-6 different brackets outside the office, but since I co-exist with these people 5 days a week, I long to have office  bragging rights – even if I win on lucky guesses. I want to come into work with my head held high and give the true number one finger instead of the middle one to the jerk that won.

So today I began the NCAA tourney journey. I completed an online bracket early in the day. I decided to take a different approach and I didn’t allow myself to think too hard (if really at all) about my choices. I have Arizona winning that bracket. (I actually clicked submit) What the hell was I thinking??? Oh yeah, I wasn’t. I am considering it a warm up to the one that really counts. I have committed myself to 4 more outside-of-work pools and I will complete those before I take on THE bracket. The online brackets for some reason don’t seem to hurt as much when you see the updates and see just how bad you suck picking tournament winners. It’s the hand written one for work that causes me stress and anxiety. I have to look at it and see my own handwriting and know I actually had to put some thought into the choice if I was willing to write it. I have a yellow highlighter for those teams that continue on and a pink for the eliminated teams. A lot of love the color pink. Most of the time I don’t really mind it, but this time of year the color pink can fuck right off.

I waste a lot of time looking and browsing websites in hopes that I see an “experts” bracket that speaks to me, but it never happens. Besides, I would feel dirty by simply copying the answers like I did in college algebra. (That didn’t work for me either) And there lies the problem. I create the headache myself by thinking way too hard. I should not be spending the majority of my day concentrating  on filling out a college basketball tournament bracket. I have a lot more important things that require my attention. Too damn bad. It is BRACKET TIME, people. Work can wait.

At the time of this writing, I have no idea who I am going to have in the Final Four on the office bracket. I know it will be very difficult to not follow my heart when it comes to moving my beloved Oklahoma Sooners into the Sweet 16. I can say quite confidently that I will do so, but after that I am afraid I can’t take them further.  Sooners coach Lon Kreuger has done pretty well in past tourneys and if he takes the Sooners to the Sweet 16 I will be satisfied. It’s easy to type that, but you better believe I will be faithfully cheering my Sooners on come game time. Another thing I know is, as crazy as it sounds, I am going to pick Tulsa to upset UCLA in the first round. I have to show some love for the hometown boys.

Perhaps letting my heart pick winners could be the major reason I don’t fare so well in the evil empire known as Bracketology. Here’s one thing I wish: I hope the basketball Gods look down at me and bitch slap me across the face if I should dare to put Duke in the Final Four. Every year I do this and every year they screw me like a Blue Devil lacrosse player. Don’t get me wrong, I love Coach K and I have always loved Duke basketball, but this is the year I must tear away from printing their name in the Final Four box. I must be strong.

imagesCA7SIHJC

So here we go, folks, let the selections begin. I wish you all the best of luck – unless I work with you . If I work with you, may your bracket suck worse than mine. Maybe this could really be my year. Just maybe I can be crowned Queen of the NCAA Tournament and ride on a float with a tiara and a large bouquet of flowers waving to the crowd like the winner I am. As long as the flowers aren’t pink.

They don’t call it “Madness” for nothing.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa

Super Bowl vs. Super “Bowl”

Posted: February 2, 2014 in Sports
Tags:

superbowl

Here we are ladies and gentlemen, Sunday, February 2nd, 2014. Super Bowl Sunday. The AFC is represented by the Denver Broncos and the NFC by the Seattle Seahawks. But you already knew that. This year I can honestly say I don’t really care who wins the game. I guess it would be nice to see Seattle win since they haven’t ever won it, but then it would also be nice to see Peyton Manning get his second ring so Eli can’t say he has more than his older brother. It only makes since, Peyton is the superior quarterback and it’s only right he have the same number of rings. I say that sarcastically – not the Peyton being superior to Eli part – but I really could care less if Peyton has many rings as his little brother. I am looking forward to the game though, I think it will be a really good one. I’ve been asked over and over again who I think will win and I really can’t pick a winner. Maybe it’s because as I said before, I really don’t care. What I am looking forward to, as always are the prop bets. I’ve written about these before and here I am again. I’m not much of a gambler, but for some reason crazy Super Bowl prop bets intrigue me and I can’t stay away from them. I am going to share some of my favorites with you.

The coin toss: Obviously it’s a toss up – pun intended – but I am picking Seattle to win. There was no scientific thinking behind this choice, I just pick Seattle. Heads or tails? I’m going to choose tails based on the fact that Peyton Manning’s forehead is as big as an ass. No really, that’s my reasoning.

Speaking of Peyton, of course there can’t be a prop bet this year without the “Omaha” bet. How many times will Peyton scream Omaha? The over/under number is 27 1/2. I say it will go over. Which means it has to be 28 times he says it. I think he screamed it much more than that during the AFC playoff game. I hope he hasn’t decided to change cities for the big game. With my luck he probably did. I can hear it now, “Chattanooga!Chattanooga!” I doubt it, he probably has a pretty good future in selling Omaha Steaks. Maybe in the near future we can order an Omaha Steak Papa John’s pizza. I am a realist.
omaha
My favorite prop bet is how long will it take the singer to sing the National Anthem. This years magic number is 2:30. (or at least it was on the site I was on.) This year’s singer is Renee Fleming. I confess, I have never heard of her until they announced she would be singing the anthem. She is an opera singer. This is why I’ve never heard of her. I know nada about opera. However, I do know that they ten to hold their notes a long time. I think this is going to be a close one. I actually did some research on this one and I think she actually might just go over. By research, I mean I sat on my couch and belted out my best operatic National Anthem. I sang slow and loud and held those notes. As soon as my neighbor’s dogs stopped howling I realized I went over the 2:30 mark. This makes me a winner and very unpopular with my neighbors. A prop asks if she will forget any of the lyrics. I think opera singers usually have a shit load of words to remember and often in another language, so I think she will NOT forget any anthem words. Another prop is will Renee wear gloves and if so what color will they be. I am saying no she will not. I say this because I Googled images of her and I didn’t find one pic of her with gloves on. Now I know it will be cold outside, but I’m sticking to my decision. I think she likes to hold the cold, hard mic in her bare hands, she just looks like “that” type. (If she does wear gloves, I’m going to have to say black.)
nationalanthem
Keeping on the singers theme, let’s talk Bruno Mars props. Will the singer wear a hat at the beginning of his halftime performance? Of course he will, he’s Bruno Mars. The question is will it be a Fedora, tuque, or a fur hat. Good question. I’m going with a fur hat. Not sure why, I just think he needs a fur hat because really, how often do you get a chance to wear a fur hat? Then there’s the question that asks what song he will sing first. I’m gonna go with Locked Out of Heaven. My reasoning? I don’t think he’ll start mellow with The lazy Song or Marry You, and I think he’ll save Grenade for last with some sort of pyrotechnics. Needless to say I don’t have a lot riding on these bets, I just use them for entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment, I am looking more forward to the Red Hot Chili Peppers at halftime than Bruno Mars. And yes, there is a prop for them. Has nothing to do with what songs they are singing, but their wardrobe is involved. Will any of the member of RHCP not be wearing a shirt? Well duh. That’s easy money. I don’t think Flea even owns a shirt. Click. Now pay me. Believe it or not there is actually another prop involving the anthem. Will Knowshon Moreno, Broncos running back, cry during the singing of the National Anthem? He admits crying is not uncommon for him, especially during the anthem, but the camera isn’t usually on him. I’m not betting this one. I mean, how do we even know they will actually show Moreno at that time? After is admission, they probably will at least flash on him, but there is no guarantee. It’s ok to cry, Mr. Moreno, I would cry to if my name were Knowshon.
knowshon
As we are on the subject of crying, I’m sure everyone remembers how Erin Andrews looked like she was going to cry like a little girl during her interview with Richard Sherman after beating the 49’ers in the NFC Championship game. The next prop is: who will be shown on tv first, Pam Oliver or Erin Andrews? (This is referring to after kick-off) I’m going to choose pam Oliver based solely on the fact that I want to bitch slap Erin Andrews every time I see her and I don’t want the game to start off negatively for me.

Of course there’s the age old Gatorade question. What color will the Gatorade thrown on the winning coach be? I am going with clear this year. I pick a color every year and have never won this. So, I say clear. I am done with colors. Plus, clear is the color of the vodka I put in my orange juice shortly before writing this. It must be a sign.

I can’t end this without mentioning there is a prop – and I am not kidding – asking if the announcers will say the word “marijuana” during the game. We’ve all seen the memes and jokes about this game being a true super “bowl” because both the teams are from states that have legalized marijuana. This does not mean the announcers will talk about it during the game. I’m sure they’ll have more interesting things to talk about during the Super Bowl game. Besides, Terry Bradshaw is doing the pre-game and halftime analysis and everybody knows he will probably be high on his own bowl and they don’t want to point out the obvious to those of us watching on tv.

I hope your team wins and your bets are successful whatever they may be today. Let’s not forget the true meaning of this February 2nd, 2014. It is the day where that damned bastard rodent, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and predicts a longer winter. I hope Phil chokes on the polar vortex or the Devil’s dandruff itself.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa For more knowledgeable betting advise follow @sportsrage

CRAZY IN ALABAMA

Posted: January 10, 2014 in Sports, Uncategorized

So, here it is, Thursday January 9th, 2014. Or as I like to call it the 1 week anniversary of the Sooners Sugar Bowl victory over Alabama. Trust me when I say that sugar has NEVER tasted sweeter. To watch the Sooners go into the game and “shock the world” was the perfect way to start the new year. Maybe eating those black eyed peas the day before really did help! I use the words “shock the world” because it seems as though no one outside of the state of Oklahoma gave the Sooners a shot in hell at beating the Crimson Tide and their fearless leader, Nick Saban. Let’s be honest, there were even a lot of people in Oklahoma that also didn’t believe. But one week ago tonight, David marched into the SuperDome in New Orleans and slayed Goliath. We all know what happened, so I won’t go into details of the game. I will, however express how exciting it was to see freshman quarterback Trevor Knight outshine the 2013 Heisman runner up and 3 time National Champion Crimson Tide quarterback, AJ McCarron. Also exciting was seeing McCarron on his back seven times thanks to the Sooners defense. (McCarron had been sacked only 10 times during the regular season) But the sweetest feeling of all, at least for me anyway, was how the Oklahoma Sooners made the asshats that work at ESecPN look like complete failures for saying there was NO WAY Oklahoma could defeat Alabama. I say to all of you, Boomer Sooner, bitches.

Let’s stay on the topic of AJ McCarron for a moment. Well, not really AJ, but his mom. I’m sure you’ve seen her if you’ve watched an Alabama football game. The camera always shows her cheering her son on right next to his girlfriend, Katherine Webb. We all know the girlfriend is the real reason the camera shows the duo so often during Bama games. I have no problem admitting she is one hot chick. His mom, let’s call her DeeDee Bonner because that’s her name, is taking advantage of her son’s talent and his girlfriend’s beauty to gain some media attention herself. If you Google AJ’s mom you will find several images of her and her cleavage. Not only does she make it clear she is proud of her sons, she is also apparently very proud of her girls. Now I understand why her name is DeeDee. But what Double D did the night of the BCS Championship game got her more attention than she probably wanted. After the Florida State Seminoles beat Auburn for the National championship, Heisman winning Seminole quarterback Jameis Winston was being interviewed and Mom McCarron sent a rather offensive tweet. She asked “Am I listening to English?” Of course it took mere seconds for the tweet to go viral and it wasn’t long after that she deleted said tweet. Too late, DeeDee, the retweets and screen shots spread even quicker. By the way, mom did apologize and Katherine Webb who caught some shit for favoriting the tweet said it was favorited “accidentally.” Someone seems to be mad her baby boy didn’t win the Heisman. Oh, and DeeDee, yes, you were listening to English. As a matter of fact Jameis Winston learned to speak English where he was born and raised……A-L-A-B-A-M-A.

Meanwhile back at the SuperDome there was another Alabama mom that was getting ready to grab 15 minutes of internet fame. Her name is Michelle Pritchett. Oh, you know who she is. She is the crazy Bama fan who jumped into the group of Oklahoma students and proceeded to windmill kick the hell out of them. According to what I’ve read it all happened because the Oklahoma students were “taunting her and her 16 year old son.” Apparently there was a lot of smack talk going on between the Oklahoma and Alabama fans during the game. The hell you say??? Smack talk between fans of opposing teams at a sporting event??? Say it ain’t so. Michelle says when the Oklahoma boys taunted her son inviting him to come down there to fight is where it all went downhill and she decided to take things into her own hands. And feet. In the video you can see her approach the group and put her finger in someone’s face. Though you can’t hear the audio, it doesn’t take a genius to realize whatever she is saying isn’t all peaches and cream. When a man, who appears to be her husband tries to remove her from the argument, she breaks lose, turns around and flings herself into the Oklahoma group and begins the kicking. If you have not seen the video, no, I am not exaggerating. Also, if you have not seen the video I have included it. You are welcome.

I was not present at this altercation so what you are about to read is, of course, my opinion only.

Number one, Michelle, should change her last name from Pritchett to CrazyBitchett. Not only did she embarrass her husband, son, and whoever was there with her, the entire state of Alabama was embarrassed. (Twice that night) Michael Connelly, the Oklahoma student who was the main target said yeah, there was smack talk going on between the fans. He said it was actually her party that started it when Alabama was leading the football game and when the Sooners took control of the field, then the smack talk from the Oklahoma fans increased. He said her 16 year old son was an active participant in the exchange. When there were words of fighting and someone “invited” her son to come on down, that’s when the debacle began. Mrs. CrazyBitchett even flipped the Oklahoma boys a double bird before she went Alabama crazy on them. This was caught so nicely on film as you can see. I’m sure the young girl sitting next to her was really impressed by this behavior. I did read in an article that her daughter was crying in the stands when she entered the ring, but I don’t know how much truth there is to that. There is a family picture that has surfaced that doesn’t include a girl. But it does appear to include the 16 year old that is being raised like a girl. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch but at 16 you would think he would be destroyed watching his mother fight his battles for him. I understand a mother’s instinct to want to protect her child, but in this case she made the wrong decision. Sticks and stones, Michelle, sticks and stones.

Number two, Michelle said she had a couple of drinks but was not intoxicated. I call bullshit. She could barely stand up holding on to the rails when she was physically removed from the Oklahoma fan group. Maybe her feet were just dizzy from the windmill kicks, I don’t know. You would think she would blame the alcohol instead of admitting to just being crazy. Now, in her defense, she did publically apologize to Alabama, the fans, and Nick Saban for the incident. (I bet Saban wishes he had her on the field to help stop Trevor Knight. Her attack rush looked pretty vicious.) According to his Twitter account, she even called Connelly to also apologize to him. Finally, something positive from the whole debacle. Oh – wait, then she said she would do it all over again if she had to. Sigh.

I don’t know what kind of smack talk was happening, but I have been to a huge number of games and there has been smack talk at every single one of them. I have seen fights because of it, but it is normally two grown men. Usually drunk men. It’s part of attending a sporting event. As an Oklahoma fan, I have to say that I was impressed by the restraint the group of fans that were attacked showed. They had plenty of chances to take a shot at her, yet they remained to “handle her with care” while trying to remove her without harm. It kind of made me laugh when she is being handled by security and the Sooner fans turn around and start cheering about something that just happened on the field as if nothing ever happened while leaving her family wondering what the hell. I do feel sorry for her son. You know he is going to be called a “mama’s boy” and be made fun of for having his mommy fight his battles for him. If I were those people, I’d watch my back for a pair of brown boots flying. What was she thinking? Black boots would have been a much better choice with what she was wearing.

Sadly, college football is over until fall. and you are reading this, let me be the first to say, Oklahoma is getting ready to unleash the Sooner beast in the near future. It is an exciting time to be a Sooner fan, and as you all know, I AM SoonerLeesa.

Happy new year, everyone!

Follow me on Twitter: @SoonerLeesa

I woke up in the wee hours Saturday morning to drive to Stillwater for the game that had a kickoff time of 11 a.m. What usually takes an hour and a half to drive took 4 as the roads were snow, ice and sleet covered. For those of you reading this in the great white north, or anywhere north, stop laughing. Though our state does have sand trucks and some plows, believe me when I say we are ill equipped when it comes to winter weather. We don’t get a lot of it thank goodness, but in perfect bitch form, Mother Nature decided to rear her ugly face just in time for one of the biggest game of the year.

Pickens Field before the game.

Pickens Field before the game.


It was cold. The nipples on a witch’s teat would be jealous. I think it was 7 degrees at kick off and then 10 or 12 half time. I don’t remember. Maybe I had brain freeze. Whatever the temperature was it was damn cold. I’m an Oklahoma girl, it’s puzzling trying to figure out how to not become an ice sculpture. I spent a stupid amount of money on hand warmers and ace bandages so I could wrap my body in warmth. You know when it’s so cold your nose involuntarily has the clear liquid trickle down but your face is so numb from the cold that you don’t feel it until you have that funny taste in your mouth? Yes, it was that cold. We Oklahomans are dedicated football fans. We will sit in 110 degrees to watch our teams play as well. In fact, when the season kicked off in Norman and it ended in Stillwater there was roughly a 95 degree difference. Is it all worth it? Most of the time, yes.

Was it worth it Saturday? Oh hell, yeah. As most people, “experts” included picked the Pokes to win, it was clear early on that the Sooners had something else in mind. Oklahoma came in as 10 point underdogs. What the Cowboys forgot was the Sooners love the under dog role. I won’t go into details, but as we all witnessed the Sooners showed the Cowboys why they are referred to as “little brother.” Our guys didn’t give 2 shits how the Pokes embarrassed Baylor the previous game. The team in the Sooner red helmets proved to everyone that there’s only ONE Oklahoma.

Bedlam is supposed to be chaotic. We expect mayhem, and as it is defined in the dictionary it is a place or situation of noisy uproar and confusion. This held true for the 2013 Bedlam game Saturday morning. Noisy uproar and confusion indeed.

Noisy uproar: If you’ve ever been to Boone Pickens stadium you will understand this. If you have watched the Pokes on tv you too, will understand what I am talking about. On the side of the field where the Cowboys are there are a large group of rabid fans called “The Paddle People.” You read that right. The Paddle People. These are fans who carry a long paddle and beat them in unison on the side of the stadium. It is loud. It is annoying, but I get it and I get the tradition. It’s also a bit scary to see big ass, orange, yeti looking dudes carrying paddles around ready to use them on the first person they see in a crimson hoodie. Perhaps some of those very paddles are used on the children of Okie Lite fans that make the choice to root for the “wrong” (Sooners) team. (This actually happened – Google it) As I encountered some of these creatures up close I learned exactly why they can bang those paddles so hard against the stadium walls for an entire game. They’ve had plenty of practice working out their wrists in their dorm rooms spanking not the walls but something else. Brings a whole new meaning to Orange Power.

Oklahoma State Paddle People

Oklahoma State Paddle People

King or Queen of the Paddle People

King or Queen of the Paddle People

Confusion: It appeared the Pokes were in a state of confusion on more than one occasion. One of the best examples of Poke confusion came when the Sooners were down 17-10 in the third quarter. Oklahoma lined up to kick a field goal at the 8 yard line and instead the holder threw the ball to Sooners kicker Michael Hunnicutt who ran a wheel route to the left and caught the pass for 6 points. To add to the Cowboys pain, Hunnicutt successfully kicked his own extra point. Being in the stands at that moment was priceless. My frozen fingers breaking off when clapping was a pleasant pain. What could have possibly made that feeling better? Wiping my nose on the ugly ass orange scarf worn by the guy sitting in front of me, that’s what. As we were wildly cheering the greatness that we just witnessed, he turned around, called us dumb bitches and told us to sit down and shut the hell up because there’s a lot of game left and the Pokes were going to wipe the field with the Sooners. What can I say? I heard the word “wipe” and I was inspired. He turned around in anger as we laughed at his proclamation and he never even felt it when I used the end of that hideous scarf. It wasn’t long after that he grabbed that very end and wrapped it around his mouth. I’m not sure what made me more proud, the fake kick that ended up in a Sooner touchdown or the thought that the big, bad man in orange just got a mouthful of Sooner slushy snot.

Chaos: The Oklahoma State Cowboys displayed some memorable chaotic moments. Most notable the last play of the game where they tossed the ball around like a hot potato in the hopes of a miracle play somehow ending in a game winning touchdown. And it did end in a touchdown. For the Sooners. The ball was fumbled and Eric Striker picked it up in the end zone for the Sooner’s score. For some reason, hearing Boomer Sooner in T. Boone Pickens stadium is sweeter than normal. Apparently snotty scarf guy wasn’t amused. He turned around, called us dirty Sooner whores and once again wrapped the infamous ugly, snotty scarf around his damn near toothless mouth and turned to make his way down the steps. I couldn’t help but to tap him on the shoulder and when he turned around I said with a smile and a wink, “Boomer Sooner. I hope your scarf tastes good.” He grunted something and that was the end of our fairy tale relationship. apparently while I was saying farewell to the pissed off, toothless, snotty scarf eating ogre some Oklahoma State fans threw ice, snow balls, and turkey legs at our players. As if that weren’t enough, one of the male Cowboy cheerleaders actually tried to trip Eric Striker after the last touchdown that ended the game. Really? That’s extreme Bring It On behavior. OSU has said this particular cheerleader will be disciplined. I guess he will have to continue to be a male cheerleader for a team they refer to as the Pokes.
trip
Before I close this story, I just want to say that obviously not ALL Oklahoma State fans are rude, classless people. I grew up in Oklahoma, of course I have a lot of friends that are Ok. State fans. We actually get along and smack talk with humor and the understanding that it’s a game and it’s ok to agree to disagree on our feelings for a certain team. I was a bit shocked by some of the stuff I saw in Stoolwater. I am happy to announce that I did not see one familiar face involved in the negativity I experienced and saw Saturday. To the majority of the Cowboys fans out there, thanks for a great bedlam game. It truly was a classic.

Despite being in a hostile (and orange) environment, looking past the frost bite and having to sled my way to Stillwater, it was a great day. As I looked at a group of Oklahoma State students burning an OU flag I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and think to myself: OSU = Oklahoma’s Second University. If they were educated enough to understand numbers I would remind them that we own them. Bob Stoops owns Mike Gundy. Here’s the numbers: the Sooners have 84 wins. The pokes have 17. There were 7 ties. Add those numbers up and it equals (once again) only ONE Oklahoma.
flagburn
Boomer Sooner, ya’ll!
schooner

Follow mw on Twitter: @SoonerLeesa

My Top 10 Fright List

Posted: October 30, 2013 in Sports, Uncategorized

I woke up this morning and it hit me that November is now just 3 short sleeps away. This may very well have been the shortest October ever and I can’t believe that in just a couple of days I’m going to have to turn my porch light off and pretend I am not home in order to avoid all the neighborhood kids knocking on my door screeching those infamous words and expecting me to give them candy in return. Why would I want to sugar these kids up more than they already are? I suppose I could open a bag of mini carrots and place them in those ugly ass orange buckets of Hell. Then when I get those looks of disappointment from the dressed up little cherubs, I can look right back and say “What? It’s Halloween. I am dressed as the neighborhood bitch. Take your carrot and skedaddle. And what the hell is wrong with your parents letting you dress up like Miley Cyrus, anyway? You just gave a whole new meaning to trick or treat. Your parental units should be ashamed of themselves. Take your foam finger and get off my porch and quit begging for more candy.”

Yeah, I’m not a big fan of Halloween, but I have decided I will pay homage to the last day of October by listing my Top 10 Things That Scare Me. Because this is SheSaidSports, I will of course stick to a sports theme to the best of my ability. In the style of David Letterman, I will start with number 10 and work my way to number 1 based on my personal level of fright.

baylor

#10: There are some good bears out there. The Care Bears are colorful, innocent things that have brought smiles to many children. Smokey the Bear sent an educational message trying to prevent forest fires. Yogi Bear was one of the best cartoons ever as his picnic basket stealing shenanigans with Boo Boo left me wanting to move to Jellystone Park. And then there’s Ted. He is genius and damn near makes a little pee run down my leg from laughing so hard at him. But there are some bears I am extremely scared of. I admit it, ya’ll. I am scared of the Baylor Bears that the Sooners will be facing a week from Halloween night. If anyone knows of a support group for this phobia, please forward the information. Thanks in advance.

#9:     2 – 5     This is the Steelers record so far this season. It scares me. Enough said.

spider

#8:  I do NOT like spiders. I know arachnophobia is another common phobia and there’s really not a whole to say here. They are ugly, they are creepy, and I have NO compassion for them when I spot one. I go straight up Ndamukong Suh on their 8 legged asses. The beauty of that is, I will not get fined for it. Also, like Suh, I will not apologize for my actions.

jets

#7:  I suppose being afraid of flying is a very common phobia. I don’t particularly like flying but I appreciate the swiftness in which an airplane gets me from point A to point B so I will reluctantly get on a plane. I do have flying anxiety but thanks to modern medicine, by the time the wheels are lifted, I am so high I could care less what’s happening on the plane. If turbulence occurs I just kick back and pretend like I just put a quarter in the bed at a sleazy, cheap motel and Gerard Butler is at the foot of the bed ready to make me the co-star of his next movie. It kinda sucks when the turbulence stops because once I was still so doped up I reached over and grabbed a guys crotch that was sitting next to me. When I noticed the look of shock on his face, all I could do was apologize. “Dude, my bad. I thought that was a roll of quarters.” All I really wanted was the bed to shake some more. What I’m trying to say here is, I’m scared of the jets that fly, not the Jets that wear green and white and dream of having a quarterback. (and I don’t mean change for vibrating bed)
batslugger

#6:  I hate bats. The kind that fly around at night and hang upside down. I never really realized my hatred and fright for this satanic creature until a couple of months ago when one appeared in my house. When I spotted an unfamiliar something on the floor, I kneeled down and got an up close look. To my horror, I knew what I was staring at. The problem was I didn’t know if it was alive or dead. I knew it probably wasn’t normal that a bat would be lying still on the floor, but what do I know? When animal control removed the disgusting critter they informed me it didn’t have many breaths left. Since this “bat incident” I have slept with a light on all night believing they will not go into the light. Then I remembered the bat signal. So, bat doors have been installed and I have checked by body for suspicious bites. I mean after all, how long was the asshole flying around my place making my home his very own Bat Cave? The only bat I want to be near is a Louisville Slugger. I always did like the feel of wood in my hands.

Abby Lee Miller - She's fucking scary!

Abby Lee Miller – She’s fucking scary!

#5:  I have thought about a way I could insert a sports reference here. I, however have failed. This bitch is just scary. If you don’t know who Abby Lee Miller is, thank your lucky stars. If you do, you can relate I’m sure. I have included her in a previous blog and she is so scary and evil she has once again made an appearance. If I saw Abby walking down the street, I would turn and sprint to the nearest alley and hope to be mugged by a homeless, dumpster diving bum instead of facing her. I just pray he leaves my quarters alone.

scarymack

#4:  This is a face that even scares the crap out of his team mascot making his mug total bullshit. Literally. That is all.

dolphins

#3:  Yes. Fish. I will not swim with them, I will not touch them, I will not eat them and I don’t ever want to smell like one. They are slimy and gross and you can try to convince me all you want that the shark in Jaws was a mechanical thing, but I know in my heart of hearts, that bitch be real.

eaglesfalconsseahawksravens

#2:  All of these pics have what in common? Yes geniuses, they are all birds. Ever since I was a young child and woke up in the middle of the night and watched The Birds, I have had nightmares of being trapped in a phone booth and being pecked to death by those evil, feathered bastards. In fact, I’m surprised I use Twitter so much with that little blue bird of death always staring at me. Please keep in mind that this does NOT include cute little, glorious red birds known as the Cardinals. They are God’s way of saying not all creatures that fly are satanic. Of course I am referring to the St. Louis Cardinals and not the Arizona variety.

And finally, what I fear the most……

brooklynbridgegolden gate

#1:   When I think about the Yankees, the 49’ers, the SF Giants and the Raiders I am reminded of my fear of bridges. I am terrified of bridges. Yes I said bridges, and the 2 most famous bridges in the country, the Brooklyn and Golden Gate, remind me of these teams every time I hear their names. I suppose I could throw in the A’s, but who really cares about them? Bridges crumble, fall and what happens? You end up in the water with what? That’s right, the damn fish that will eat you like those rotten kids in my neighborhood eat their sugar laced crack on Halloween.

Happy and safe Halloween to one and all.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesahalloween1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RRR9

Ahhhhh…….the second week of October is upon us. The triple digit heat has departed and the cool mornings and nights are a welcome relief. Soon the green of the Tulsa trees will turn into the brilliant color of Autumn that we all love to admire. The spicy red, glowing yellow, and the chestnut brown leaves are a welcome sight after a long, sizzling hot Oklahoma summer. There are some leaves that are the color that is obtained by mixing red and yellow, but if you know me, you know those leaves are the ones I hope fall off the trees first.

It’s no secret how I feel about the color orange. I hate it. Every shade of it. And yes, my despise for the annoying hue of puke stems from the love of my beloved Sooners. Call it crazy, I don’t care. My name is Leesa, and I hate orange.

The second Saturday in October is now just 3 sleeps away at the time this is being written. My annual trek to Dallas for THE big game will commence Friday morning and as usual, I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. This is, however the weekend I will be subjected to having to view the worst possible shade of orange that could ever be. Texas Longhorn burnt orange.

Burnt orange. Why? Why would anyone love and admire this putrid color? I have had vomit that looks better than burnt orange. In fact, ALL the vomit I have ever produced is more attractive than burnt orange. What makes this shade of orange even worse is putting it on a bunch of big ass, slow learnin, football player wannabes and topping it off with a helmet donning a burnt orange reproductive system replica. Just thinking about it may very well cause me to vomit. And cramp.

Hook em Ovaries

Hook em Ovaries

Hopefully the game Saturday will be similar to the past 2 years. The Sooners were kicking Longhorn ass so badly that most of the Texas fans left beginning in the 3rd quarter. By the 4th, that side of the Cotton Bowl was almost completely emptied. The site of the steel grey bleachers was a hell of a lot better than the alternative. In fact, I began to wonder if someone in the Texas program was contemplating officially changing the team colors to grey and white. We couldn’t be so lucky. Oklahoma has outscored Texas 118- 38 the past 2 years. We only won by 8 the previous year.  In fact, they should just re-name this game the Crimson Red River Rivalry. Just my opinion, but it does have a nice sound to it.

Speaking of changes – Nike has released the Red River Rivalry uniforms made for both teams. As you can see golden touches have been added to the unis. On the upper right there is a patch with the Golden Hat – the trophy that goes to the winner of the annual shootout. On the upper left there’s the golden Nike swoosh – no shit, right? – and in the middle of the best team’s jersey there is a golden OU. The number on the jersey has been outlined in gold as well. I admit, I’m not a fan of the gold outline. The patches don’t bother me so much, but I just don’t like the golden outline. It seems so USCish to me. But it’s just for one game, and I don’t care what our guys wear as long as they are holding the gold Stetson at the end of the game.

newuni

Mack Brown is desperate to win this game. If he doesn’t he might want to find an alternate way back to Austin because he may be Kiffened off the team bus. That was somewhat sarcastic. I don’t really think he would be fired like that, I just wanted to use the term “Kiffened.” I don’t for one second believe Texas would fire him mid-season but if he loses to Bob Stoops again, he might as well climb in the trailer with Bevo because the shit storm he will be going home to will make riding home with Bevo seem like one of those damn Febreeze commercials.

As for my Sooners, I can’t wait to see them run out of that tunnel again Saturday onto the Cotton Bowl field and watch them raise the golden hat at the end of the game. I can’t wait to see Bob Stoops covered in icy cold Gatorade (hopefully red). I’m pretty sure the liquid on the Longhorns sideline won’t be cold because the guy who had the recipe for ice graduated.

 I know my beloved Sooners will be fired up despite losing one of our best defensive players for the season, Corey Nelson. From what I understand he postponed surgery so he can suit up and be on the sidelines to cheer his team on and be the great leader he is despite his injury. When the clock runs down, I hope to see Corey the first one with his hands on that hat made of gold.

goldenhat

So here we go, Sooner Nation. We are in the midst of Texas Hate Week and I can smell the sweet aroma of victory and Bevo burgers already.  Beat the Horns and we’re 6-0 and 3-0 in the Big XII. Beat the hell out of Texas! HORNS DOWN. BOOMER SOONER, ya’ll.

I HATE ORANGE. 

Even they know.

Even they know.

schooner

P.S. Sticking with the color theme, the Red Birds just knocked off the Pirates to advance to the NLCS as I was writing this. Way to go, Cardinals!!!!!logo4778029_lg

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa