The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

Posted: March 18, 2014 in Sports, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

The term “bracketology” should be changed to “crackology” because every Mid March I become addicted to brackets. Blame social media. Blame my upbringing. Blame the dirty, satanic sports websites that push this drug on me. I keep getting “requests” to join their bracket challenges. They know I can’t say no. One would think I would find some pleasure from this chaos they call the NCAA Championship Tournament, but it is impossible when all I can focus on is having a winning bracket. I may need an intervention. Yes, my name is Leesa and I am an addict.

I have 15 or so scattered brackets across my work desk as clearly Bracketology has become my full time job.  As I plow through the pile I ask myself why. Why do I torment myself every single March only to be disappointed and ashamed of my failure. WHY? Do I really love it or at this point is it simply a challenge? Are these brackets that clutter my workspace like the hot guy in high school that I tried so desperately to get to notice me and once he did I figured out maybe he’s really not that hot after all?

bracket

Although I really do love college basketball, I must admit this is really more about the challenge than my love for the game. I have been filling these things out for years and each and every year I fail. Miserably. I – just one time – want to be the March Madness winner at work. Not because there’s some really cool prizes, but because I want to win, dammit. I typically complete 5-6 different brackets outside the office, but since I co-exist with these people 5 days a week, I long to have office  bragging rights – even if I win on lucky guesses. I want to come into work with my head held high and give the true number one finger instead of the middle one to the jerk that won.

So today I began the NCAA tourney journey. I completed an online bracket early in the day. I decided to take a different approach and I didn’t allow myself to think too hard (if really at all) about my choices. I have Arizona winning that bracket. (I actually clicked submit) What the hell was I thinking??? Oh yeah, I wasn’t. I am considering it a warm up to the one that really counts. I have committed myself to 4 more outside-of-work pools and I will complete those before I take on THE bracket. The online brackets for some reason don’t seem to hurt as much when you see the updates and see just how bad you suck picking tournament winners. It’s the hand written one for work that causes me stress and anxiety. I have to look at it and see my own handwriting and know I actually had to put some thought into the choice if I was willing to write it. I have a yellow highlighter for those teams that continue on and a pink for the eliminated teams. A lot of love the color pink. Most of the time I don’t really mind it, but this time of year the color pink can fuck right off.

I waste a lot of time looking and browsing websites in hopes that I see an “experts” bracket that speaks to me, but it never happens. Besides, I would feel dirty by simply copying the answers like I did in college algebra. (That didn’t work for me either) And there lies the problem. I create the headache myself by thinking way too hard. I should not be spending the majority of my day concentrating  on filling out a college basketball tournament bracket. I have a lot more important things that require my attention. Too damn bad. It is BRACKET TIME, people. Work can wait.

At the time of this writing, I have no idea who I am going to have in the Final Four on the office bracket. I know it will be very difficult to not follow my heart when it comes to moving my beloved Oklahoma Sooners into the Sweet 16. I can say quite confidently that I will do so, but after that I am afraid I can’t take them further.  Sooners coach Lon Kreuger has done pretty well in past tourneys and if he takes the Sooners to the Sweet 16 I will be satisfied. It’s easy to type that, but you better believe I will be faithfully cheering my Sooners on come game time. Another thing I know is, as crazy as it sounds, I am going to pick Tulsa to upset UCLA in the first round. I have to show some love for the hometown boys.

Perhaps letting my heart pick winners could be the major reason I don’t fare so well in the evil empire known as Bracketology. Here’s one thing I wish: I hope the basketball Gods look down at me and bitch slap me across the face if I should dare to put Duke in the Final Four. Every year I do this and every year they screw me like a Blue Devil lacrosse player. Don’t get me wrong, I love Coach K and I have always loved Duke basketball, but this is the year I must tear away from printing their name in the Final Four box. I must be strong.

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So here we go, folks, let the selections begin. I wish you all the best of luck – unless I work with you . If I work with you, may your bracket suck worse than mine. Maybe this could really be my year. Just maybe I can be crowned Queen of the NCAA Tournament and ride on a float with a tiara and a large bouquet of flowers waving to the crowd like the winner I am. As long as the flowers aren’t pink.

They don’t call it “Madness” for nothing.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa

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Comments
  1. I think you jsut might hit the bracketology lottery!

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