Bedlam 2013: O(u)h! What a Game!!

Posted: December 11, 2013 in Sports, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I woke up in the wee hours Saturday morning to drive to Stillwater for the game that had a kickoff time of 11 a.m. What usually takes an hour and a half to drive took 4 as the roads were snow, ice and sleet covered. For those of you reading this in the great white north, or anywhere north, stop laughing. Though our state does have sand trucks and some plows, believe me when I say we are ill equipped when it comes to winter weather. We don’t get a lot of it thank goodness, but in perfect bitch form, Mother Nature decided to rear her ugly face just in time for one of the biggest game of the year.

Pickens Field before the game.

Pickens Field before the game.

It was cold. The nipples on a witch’s teat would be jealous. I think it was 7 degrees at kick off and then 10 or 12 half time. I don’t remember. Maybe I had brain freeze. Whatever the temperature was it was damn cold. I’m an Oklahoma girl, it’s puzzling trying to figure out how to not become an ice sculpture. I spent a stupid amount of money on hand warmers and ace bandages so I could wrap my body in warmth. You know when it’s so cold your nose involuntarily has the clear liquid trickle down but your face is so numb from the cold that you don’t feel it until you have that funny taste in your mouth? Yes, it was that cold. We Oklahomans are dedicated football fans. We will sit in 110 degrees to watch our teams play as well. In fact, when the season kicked off in Norman and it ended in Stillwater there was roughly a 95 degree difference. Is it all worth it? Most of the time, yes.

Was it worth it Saturday? Oh hell, yeah. As most people, “experts” included picked the Pokes to win, it was clear early on that the Sooners had something else in mind. Oklahoma came in as 10 point underdogs. What the Cowboys forgot was the Sooners love the under dog role. I won’t go into details, but as we all witnessed the Sooners showed the Cowboys why they are referred to as “little brother.” Our guys didn’t give 2 shits how the Pokes embarrassed Baylor the previous game. The team in the Sooner red helmets proved to everyone that there’s only ONE Oklahoma.

Bedlam is supposed to be chaotic. We expect mayhem, and as it is defined in the dictionary it is a place or situation of noisy uproar and confusion. This held true for the 2013 Bedlam game Saturday morning. Noisy uproar and confusion indeed.

Noisy uproar: If you’ve ever been to Boone Pickens stadium you will understand this. If you have watched the Pokes on tv you too, will understand what I am talking about. On the side of the field where the Cowboys are there are a large group of rabid fans called “The Paddle People.” You read that right. The Paddle People. These are fans who carry a long paddle and beat them in unison on the side of the stadium. It is loud. It is annoying, but I get it and I get the tradition. It’s also a bit scary to see big ass, orange, yeti looking dudes carrying paddles around ready to use them on the first person they see in a crimson hoodie. Perhaps some of those very paddles are used on the children of Okie Lite fans that make the choice to root for the “wrong” (Sooners) team. (This actually happened – Google it) As I encountered some of these creatures up close I learned exactly why they can bang those paddles so hard against the stadium walls for an entire game. They’ve had plenty of practice working out their wrists in their dorm rooms spanking not the walls but something else. Brings a whole new meaning to Orange Power.

Oklahoma State Paddle People

Oklahoma State Paddle People

King or Queen of the Paddle People

King or Queen of the Paddle People

Confusion: It appeared the Pokes were in a state of confusion on more than one occasion. One of the best examples of Poke confusion came when the Sooners were down 17-10 in the third quarter. Oklahoma lined up to kick a field goal at the 8 yard line and instead the holder threw the ball to Sooners kicker Michael Hunnicutt who ran a wheel route to the left and caught the pass for 6 points. To add to the Cowboys pain, Hunnicutt successfully kicked his own extra point. Being in the stands at that moment was priceless. My frozen fingers breaking off when clapping was a pleasant pain. What could have possibly made that feeling better? Wiping my nose on the ugly ass orange scarf worn by the guy sitting in front of me, that’s what. As we were wildly cheering the greatness that we just witnessed, he turned around, called us dumb bitches and told us to sit down and shut the hell up because there’s a lot of game left and the Pokes were going to wipe the field with the Sooners. What can I say? I heard the word “wipe” and I was inspired. He turned around in anger as we laughed at his proclamation and he never even felt it when I used the end of that hideous scarf. It wasn’t long after that he grabbed that very end and wrapped it around his mouth. I’m not sure what made me more proud, the fake kick that ended up in a Sooner touchdown or the thought that the big, bad man in orange just got a mouthful of Sooner slushy snot.

Chaos: The Oklahoma State Cowboys displayed some memorable chaotic moments. Most notable the last play of the game where they tossed the ball around like a hot potato in the hopes of a miracle play somehow ending in a game winning touchdown. And it did end in a touchdown. For the Sooners. The ball was fumbled and Eric Striker picked it up in the end zone for the Sooner’s score. For some reason, hearing Boomer Sooner in T. Boone Pickens stadium is sweeter than normal. Apparently snotty scarf guy wasn’t amused. He turned around, called us dirty Sooner whores and once again wrapped the infamous ugly, snotty scarf around his damn near toothless mouth and turned to make his way down the steps. I couldn’t help but to tap him on the shoulder and when he turned around I said with a smile and a wink, “Boomer Sooner. I hope your scarf tastes good.” He grunted something and that was the end of our fairy tale relationship. apparently while I was saying farewell to the pissed off, toothless, snotty scarf eating ogre some Oklahoma State fans threw ice, snow balls, and turkey legs at our players. As if that weren’t enough, one of the male Cowboy cheerleaders actually tried to trip Eric Striker after the last touchdown that ended the game. Really? That’s extreme Bring It On behavior. OSU has said this particular cheerleader will be disciplined. I guess he will have to continue to be a male cheerleader for a team they refer to as the Pokes.
Before I close this story, I just want to say that obviously not ALL Oklahoma State fans are rude, classless people. I grew up in Oklahoma, of course I have a lot of friends that are Ok. State fans. We actually get along and smack talk with humor and the understanding that it’s a game and it’s ok to agree to disagree on our feelings for a certain team. I was a bit shocked by some of the stuff I saw in Stoolwater. I am happy to announce that I did not see one familiar face involved in the negativity I experienced and saw Saturday. To the majority of the Cowboys fans out there, thanks for a great bedlam game. It truly was a classic.

Despite being in a hostile (and orange) environment, looking past the frost bite and having to sled my way to Stillwater, it was a great day. As I looked at a group of Oklahoma State students burning an OU flag I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and think to myself: OSU = Oklahoma’s Second University. If they were educated enough to understand numbers I would remind them that we own them. Bob Stoops owns Mike Gundy. Here’s the numbers: the Sooners have 84 wins. The pokes have 17. There were 7 ties. Add those numbers up and it equals (once again) only ONE Oklahoma.
Boomer Sooner, ya’ll!

Follow mw on Twitter: @SoonerLeesa


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