Mack Brown’s Hot Ass

Posted: September 21, 2013 in Sports
Tags: , , ,


It’s Saturday morning – at least in the United States – and that means it’s college game day. Best day of the week in my opinion. Makes me wanna run around like a camel on hump day shouting “Guess what day it is??!!” It is a little less exciting for me because Oklahoma has the week off, but there will still be plenty of football to keep me entertained. The game I am most excited to watch? Texas vs. Kansas State. I know, I know, those of you who know me are re-reading that sentence then asking “Is she drunk? She HATES Texas, why would she WANT to watch them if they’re not in the Cotton Bowl playing her beloved Sooners?” No I am not drunk – at the moment – but for those of you who are not die-hard Sooner fans, I don’t think you understand a change of heart I have had in regards to Texas winning football games. Actually, everyone in the Big XII should want the Longhorns to start winning games. Let me explain by asking a question to put things in perspective.

Q: What do New Mexico State and UMASS have in common?

A: They both have a worse defense that Texas.


I will throw out some numbers for all you visual people.

The Longhorns are ranked 121st in Rush YPG with 308.7

They are tied at 120th for the 15+ yard with 16 per game.

With yds per rush average of 6.0 they are ranked an impressive 115th.

For those of you unaware, these rankings include 125 teams. Yes, I know there have only been 3 games played, but keep in mind these stats are coming from games Texas has played against Ole Miss, BYU and New Mexico State. Remember them? They are one of the teams that have a worse defense than the Longhorns.

After BYU ran 550 yards on the Texas defense Mack Brown made the decision to fire Manny Diaz and replace him with Greg Robinson. So now Mack has just removed the best looking person on the Texas sidelines (other than Matthew McConaughey) so surely that will help. The next game against Ole Miss at home did show some improvement, however the Horns lost. At home. This does not sit well deep in the heart of Texas. In fact, when Mack was shown on the big screen at that game, he was booed – mostly by the student section from what I understand.

Mack Brown's "What the fuck" look.

Like Sooner fans, Longhorn faithful are not used to losing multiple games in a season and they become really get angry when the lose at home. Since 2010 Texas have lost at home 9 times – including last week’s loss to Ole Miss.

So is Mack Brown on the hot seat? If you ask him, no he’s not. He vows he won’t be fired and will coach Texas until 2020 at least. He will be hitting 70 years old by then. I know, that might be the most shocking stat of all. I, too thought he was already like 102. Brown also believes his Horns can still win the Big XII. Really, Mack? I mean it’s ok to be confident, but you are borderline delusional. Remember, the Horns have to get past Baylor, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State to win the Big XII. Highly unlikely.  First, you’re going to have to win a game in the conference before you can win the actual conference.

The Longhorns have the first chance to do just that tonight. Texas opens up their Big XII play against Kansas State in Austin. The Longhorns are desperate for a win and no better team to win against than the purple team from Kansas who has beaten them 5 times in a row. A win for the Longhorns could possibly quiet the doubters for a week, a loss could cause chaos.

If you ask me if Mack is on the hot seat, I not only say yeah, but I say HELL YEAH. His khaki’s are so close to the hot seat his ass must be on fire. I am NOT saying Mack Brown  has a hot ass – cleanse your minds. I am saying his job is on the line and if it’s not it should be.

hot seat

This is an elite football program that has the most returning starters of any team in the conference. This is the University of Texas – in the middle of a state that has been the hotbed of recruiting for years and years. Recruiting was once Brown’s strength but in recent years it has become his weakness. We all know the importance of a good QB and Brown and his staff passed on 4 franchise worthy QB’s: Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III, Johnny Manziel and Jameis Winston. All 4 of these guys – ALL 4 – wanted to go to Texas but Brown and company couldn’t be bothered and/or see them as Heisman caliber players. Ouch.

As mentioned before, the Longhorns have lost 9 times at home since 2010. They have also suffered 12 conference losses – and hose DON’T include losses to Oklahoma. Speaking of the Sooners, Brown is 8-5 vs. Bob Stoops and has lost the past 3 games against Oklahoma in the Red River Rivalry. In fact the last 2 losses were so bad, the burnt orange side of the Cotton Bowl turned into bleacher grey in the 3rd quarter. Even Bevo was holding the “Eat more beef” sign at that point.


So yes, Mack, you ARE on the hot seat whether you believe it or not. Tonight is a big night for the Longhorns. K-State loves to run the QB, so this will be a test once again. I do believe Texas will win this game though. It won’t be pretty and it wouldn’t shock me if the game was won on defense or special teams. As I said, the Longhorns are now desperate. In my opinion, if the Horns don’t beat K-State tonight, Brown might as well be eating more beef as well.

I want Mack Brown and his Texas Longhorns to have a winning season. ( They’ll have another loss the 12th of October against the Sooners ) I think the entire Sooner Nation wants them to have a winning season. We WANT Brown to stay at Texas – we appreciate what he has done with the team. The alternative somewhat scares me. Texas has more money that any other school and it would be nothing for them to bring Nick Saban over and dress him in a burnt orange sideline shirt. I don’t think anyone in the conference wants that.

You are on a stage, Mack Brown. The eyes of Texas, and the Big XII are upon you.

Happy football, ya’ll.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa






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