My Super Bowl Dilemma

Posted: February 3, 2013 in Sports

Here we are, folks. February 3, 2013: Super Bowl Sunday. I have been asked eleventy billion times who I think will win. I have thought long and hard about this. I know hate is a strong word but it is appropriate when it comes to describing my feelings toward the Baltimore Ravens. I am a Steelers fan, as you all know, and hating the Ravens is one of the things we do best. I have also not hidden my feelings for Jim Harbaugh. I have loved him since he was quarterback for the Colts – even when he nearly hail-mary’d his way past my Steelers in the AFC CHampionship game in 1995. (NEARLY) So, which feeling is the strongest?

You may ask, if I hate the Baltimore Ravens so much, then why not just step up and say the 49’ers will win this thing? It is a dilemma for me. Though my heart wants the 49’ers and my fantasy future husband, Jim Harbaugh to be victorious, I also want the bragging rights of the Steelers being the only team with 6 Super Bowl rings. Selfish? Perhaps. Do the math, that would mean I want the Ravens to win. That hurts my heart just to type that last sentence. Let me re-phrase: I don’t WANT the 49’ers to get a 6th Super Bowl ring, but I sure as hell don’t want the Ravens to win. Hence, the dilemma.

Here’s what the realist in me thinks: As much fun it is to watch Colin Kaepernick at quarterback for the 49’ers, and as impressive as he has been, can he step up as a 2nd year quarterback to lead his team to the Lombardi trophy? Can the San Francisco offense break down the often lethal defense of Ray Lewis and the Ravens? I hope so, but I can’t help but have my doubts. I really hope I am wrong. Or do I? Do I really want the 49’ers to be on the same Super Bowl podium as my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers? No. Do I want to see the Ravens get their second ring led by the preaching, thug-like Lewis? No. I am torn. I suppose when the game starts I will come terms with it. For now I will have to settle for the fact that I will, more than likely find myself cheering against the Ravens, but not really FOR the 49’ers. I realize this confuses you, but you should try being me on a day like today.

Can you imagine being Jack or Jackie Harbaugh? Later tonight, one son will be a Super Bowl winning coach and the other will be, well not the Super Bowl winning coach. As proud as they must be, it has to be a very awkward feeling. They are cheering for both sons, but know only one will be successful in what the whole world is now referring to as the HarBowl. What can you say to the losing coach? “I’m sorry, but your brother was just a little better tonight.” How about, “You did your best son and I am proud of you. Please excuse me, I don’t have a lot of time to console you right now because I want to get a good look at the Lombardi trophy that is getting ready to be presented to your brother. You know, the WINNING Harbaugh.” I can envision Jack giving the losing coach a hug and a pat on the back then turning to the other son and hi-fiving him and saying “Way to kick your brother’s ass. Just like old times!” That poor mother. She told a reporter that she really hopes the game is tie. She may not want to watch, because one of her precious baby boys is going to be smiling and the other one is going to feel worse than the day she switched from the tit to the bottle. I wonder if Jack and Jackie flipped a coin to see which one goes to the winning locker room? Tales, you get to celebrate, heads you get to dry the tears. And I thought I had a dilemma.

Speaking of coin tosses, I am, as I do every year looking forward to the prop bets. I bet the Ravens to win the coin toss. ( I did a toss myself and that’s how I called it. ) There are so many damn prop bets related to the game, but I love the ones not so related. Such as, will Alicia Keys be over or under 2:10 singing the National Anthem. I say under. It took me 1:49 seconds. I did not go fast….it was just me in the shower so nerves didn’t cause me to sing faster than normal. Surely Alicia won’t make it 21 seconds longer than my brilliant shower rendition. ( the acoustics were amazing by the way ) I have $20 saying she won’t. Speaking of singing live, Beyonce is set to perform at half time. There is a lot of controversy regarding her because she lip synched at the Presidential Inauguration. Will she sing live or lip synch tonight? Who cares, let’s talk about the REAL bet here. Will she wear her hair straight or curly? Yes, this is a real bet, and I have $25 saying her locks will be flowing wavy. I do believe wavy will count as curly. Bitch better leave the hair straightener at home. I’m not sure what happens if she wears it up.

Another prop that I bet every year is what color will the Gatorade be that is dumped on the winning coach? Orange, yellow, green, red, blue, clear/water? You would think they would have purple as a choice in honor of the Ravens – I know Gatorade makes something in purple, I have seen it. Would I choose purple? No. My money is on clear. Clear is not a color, but it is my choice. It also the “color” of the vodka the losers will probably be drowning themselves in at the end of the game. Of course, this game can’t be played without have on how long will the post game hug/handshake last between the Harbaugh’s? The oddsmakers put the number at 6 seconds. I am not touching this one. 6 seconds seems like an awful long time though. Especially when one will be covered in what I hope is clear liquid and the other one can’t wait to hit the bottle. Yes, clear should be the official “color” of the Super Bowl.

I can’t end this post without mentioning this prop that I noticed:
If Ray Lewis is interviewed after the game (on tv) on the field or in locker room, how many times will he say God/Lord? IF???? Ray Lewis is a media whore, of course he will be interviewed after the game. He let the world know this will be his last game and the attention on him has been relentless. How many times will he say God/Lord? I do not know. Let me start by saying that what he has done on the football field IS great. Let me finish by saying that he is living the American dream. He was involved in a murder of 2 men in Atlanta, lies about his involvement, got 12 months probation because he agreed to turn against his friends in the case and the next year went on to win a Super Bowl with the Ravens. He will undoubtedly be in the NFL Hall of Fame. So no worries kids, you can grow up and be a Killer, liar, thug, father of six kids by four women and still play in the NFL for 17 years and make millions of dollars with possibly 2 Super Bowl rings. I just saw an interview with Lewis and he said God wouldn’t give such good gifts to someone who didn’t deserve it. I have 4 syllables for you, Ray Lewis: O.J. Simpson. With that being said, it is almost kick off time and I need to set my stop watch for the National Anthem.

I hope everyone has a Super Sunday! My pick? 49’ers 27-24.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa

  1. Pierre says:

    Cute the dilemma! Harsh lines on Ray Lewis..

  2. “the other one is going to feel worse than the day she switched from the tit to the bottle.”
    Bahahahaha quite the analogy there Leesa! As always – thanks for the pre-game antics – I look more forward to your blog the the actual event! BTW – I am sure your version of the National Anthem was superb and yes we all got the visual =D

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