Are You Ready for some Red River Shootout Football?

Posted: October 5, 2011 in Sports

Oh Bocephus… may have been Born to Boogie, but apparently you weren’t born to make analogies. 

As you have most likely heard by now, Hank Williams, Jr. made a comment comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler. That’s what the news stories say anyway. I read the comment, and I think a lot of people have been in Hank Jr.’s stash, because what he said was just , in fact, an analogy. He was not saying President Obama and Hitler are alike. Well, duh. Last time I checked, Hitler was not black. Or tall. Or married to Michelle Obama. Now, THAT would be a new Family Tradition.  I’m not going to quote the comment in fear of being googled by left-wing tree huggers. (Actually, that would be kinda fun) I will let you read the comment for yourself and make up your own mind. Just a word of advice, when you do read it, turn down your Dixie Chicks CD. Their music may influence you in a democratic sort of way.

Now, as a result of said comments, ESPN decided to yank Hank Jr.’s opening to Monday Night Football. You know the one. Are you ready for some football…..a Monday night party…….all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight blah blah blah. Last night ESPN said, “although Hank Williams, Jr. is not a direct ESPN employee, he is closely linked to our company through the open to “Monday Night Football.” We are extremely disappointed with his comments and as a result we have decided to pull the open from tonight’s telecast.” Wait, you mean the song wasn’t played? Damn, I guess I didn’t notice. Perhaps it’s because I actually leave my TV on mute until the game actually begins. Sorry Hank, as much as I enjoyed your music in the 80’s (NOT) I haven’t been able to tolerate the opening to Monday Night Football for several years now. Don’t get me wrong, I happen to think that ESPN took this opportunity to get rid of Hank once and for all. It’s about time, fellas. It’s time to live in the now. We need a fresh voice. Think of the possibilities…….I hear Vanilla Ice is available. Oh! How about MC Hammer?   “STOP!    Football time!!!!!” Genius. He will be playing at the prestigious Tulsa State Fair this weekend – I can make a call if you like. So there ya go ESPN, the door was opened and you walked right through. Yes, I’m sure you are pleasing a lot of people who are disgusted by his comments, but in my opinion, it wasn’t a terminating offense.  I do want to add that I would be willing to bet that deep down inside, Hank Williams, Jr. truly doesn’t give a shit. When you ask, “Hank, why do you drink? Hank, why do you roll smoke?” He’ll laugh and say, “Why must I sing for ESPN, it’s a joke.” What surprises me is, ESPN is using the fact that Hank used a Hitler reference to pull his song from MNF. Ironic. This is also the same company that operates the communist Longhorn Network.

Speaking of that aforementioned network, let’s move on to the important sports news of the week. OU vs. TexASS is this Saturday. That’s right, it is hate week, ladies and gentlemen. Now those of you who are reading this who are neither a Sooner or a fan of that other team, you may skip right along if you wish, because the rest of this article is all Red River Shootout related. And no, the Red River Shootout is not the name for my period. It is the 2nd Saturday in October when the glorious color of Sooner red and burnt ass orange come together to make Longhorn cookies. It’s a simple recipe: add Texas football players in a big Cotton Bowl and beat them for 3 hours. Simple. And they taste delicious. Not so delicious if you forget to add victory, which will not happen this year.

It is a fact that the Sooners and the Donghorns have no love for one another. It makes for a heated rivalry when the Cotton Bowl in Dallas is split right down the middle with an equal amount of fans from both teams. There are violent bar fights in the West End the night before the game between fans, ugly name calling,  and intense football the next day. It is also a fact, that this is one of the biggest rivalries in college football. (Simma down Ohio State and Michigan fans, I said ONE of the biggest.) The game typically has conference or even national significance. Since 1945, one or both of the two teams has been ranked among the top 25 teams in the nation coming into 61 out of 66 games. It’s no different this year as Oklahoma comes into the game ranked #3 in the AP Polls (#1 in the Coaches Poll) and the other team is ranked AP #11. This is a big deal, folks. The Golden Hat and Sooner pride are on the line. Both teams come into the game undefeated. TexASS fans come to the game with their diplomas displayed on their dashboards so they can park in handicapped spots. It is truly a special time.

College Game day will be broadcasting. (I wonder if Hank, Jr. will be asked to sing the National Anthem? Yeah, probably not.) Lee Corso will choose between the Sooner Schooner hat or his normal attire of horns atop his head. All of this takes place amidst the background of the Texas State Fair. Corn dogs, funnel cakes, turkey legs and football. Ferris wheels, roller coasters, carnival games and the farm animal exhibits. Blowhorn fans can relate to those – in more ways than one. Farm animals remind me: What do you get when you cross a University of TexASS fan and a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig would not do.

So get ready for Red River war ya’ll. Bob Stoops has the Sooners ready to open a can of Oklahoma Whoop Ass on the Cotton Bowl field  Saturday. The schooner is ready to rock. Landry Jones, Ryan Broyles, Dom Whaley, the Cali trio, Travis FREAKIN Lewis – ALL ready to grill some Bevo burgers and I hear Tony Jefferson is hungry for some more interceptions this week.  The only news I’ve heard from the other side is that Mack Brown is only dressing 20 players for the game. The rest have finally learned to dress themselves.

I cannot wait. Boomer Sooner, bitches. Let the games begin!

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @soonerleesa


Take a gander at these guys:

  1. justjilligan0724 says:

    Great freakin’ read Leesa! BOOMER SOONER BABY!

  2. I was more than happy to search out this web-site.I wanted to thanks to your time for this glorious learn!! I positively enjoying every little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

  3. aj says:

    Ok, I’m back sorry so long but phone was acting up.:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s