Jose Baez vs. Jane Velez-Mitchell

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

The jury has the case. They have been deliberating for approximately 45 minutes at the time I started this article. I’m not going to get too much into the trial and case itself – almost anyone can find out that information at the click of a button. What I am going to talk about is the media. Specifically Jane Velez – Mitchell with HLN.

Jane, you crazy bitch. What the hell is wrong with you? Let me explain myself. As Jose Baez (the chief defense attorney for the other crazy bitch – Casey Anthony) left the courthouse after the jury was handed the case, he was walking across the street with his entourage in his designer suit and shades in full blown rock star style. Chasing after him like he was Justin fucking Bieber and she is still a virginal 12 year old, was Velez-Mitchell and her camera crew. She walked side by side with Jose asking him questions to which she was getting no reply. She said, “Come on, Jose, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well.” (I bet you have) Jose replies. “How ya doin?” That is defense attorney – who is pretty sure the last closing argument by the prosecution kicked his ass – talk for “leave me the hell alone, media whore.”  What does Jane do? She tells everyone in the path to leave them alone, they have been through an emotional trial and worked really hard and they deserve to be left alone now. She is saying this as she and her crew is relentlessly chasing them across the street, down the sidewalk and to the restaraunt team Baez entered for lunch. Not only were they locked out, but Jane and her goonies are standing outside with the cameras rolling as they gather inside. Anytime the door opens, she harasses whoever is entering to talk. Yet when spectators yell something, Jane scolds them and tells them to leave them alone. Hello??? I did have to giggle when one of those spectators yelled “Who is DJ’ing Jose’s Party?” when the door to the restaraunt was opened. Hey, Jose……I’m available!!!!!

Now, don’t get me wrong. The information Miss Jane is trying to get out of the defense team is very important and imperative that it be reported to the public. The main question was: Where are you going to spend your time during the deliberations? Hey Jane, who gives a flying fuck where they will be? Does the location where the defense team camps out during deliberations have any impact on the verdict? NO. If Jose Baez orders mayo on his burger instead of mustard change the outcome? NO.  I’m going to need you to shut the hell up until there is a verdict. Until then, I’m going to have to change the channel. I would rather watch the NASA channel than to watch you stalk Jose Baez outside a restaraunt while he’s having lunch. When the jury has made their decision, let me know. Until then, I could care less what Jose Baez puts in his mouth or where he does it.

Who I WOULD like to hear from was the dude who flipped the bird in the courtroom and got busted by Judge Belvin Perry. Apparently Matthew Bartlett could not give a reason why he gave DA Jeff Ashton the middle finger. The trial was interrupted when Judge Perry called Mr. Bartlett to the front of the courtroom, a photo of the gesture was shown to him and identified the culprit as himself. The judge asked him what this gesture means. Yes, you read that right. The judge asked what the middle finger means. Well, my best guess is that Matthew Bartlett was NOT telling Jeff Ashton that he thinks he is number 1. Duh. Mr. Bartlett uncomfortably stuttered “It means F you.” The judge then asked if the gesture was meant in that way towards the DA and the bird flipping culprit answered yes. When asked why he did it, he said he wasn’t sure and apologized. As I sat back and laughed, the judge ordered him to “pay fo hunnerd dollas plus cote costs and 6 days in jail.” No, I mispelled nothing, read it out loud, because that’s how the judge said it. I was kinda hoping he added half a dollar to the amount so it would be fo hunnerd dollas and fitty cent. In case you were wondering, Mr. Bartlett has 6 months to pay the fine. Hey Matthew, call me, I want an exclusive!

Here is the question weighing heaviest on HLN viewers minds: What the hell is Jane Velez-Mitchell and Nancy Grace going to talk about when this whole circus is over? For 3 years, Casey Anthony has been the topic of their shows. In fact, as enthralled in this case that I let myself become, I will be so thrilled to never hear Nancy Grace say the words Tot Mom again. And to be honest, Jane Velez-Mitchell scares me when she talks. Her eyes go into some evil caveman mode. I don’t know how to explain it, but if she needs work after this trial finally ends, I’m sure Geico is looking for an additional character for a new commercial – and I’m not talking about the ones with the cute little lizard. In fact, Jane, you should have used a club to knock Jose over the head and drag him to your cave and forced him to give you an interview. Come on, Jane – I thought you were a professional!

So as the jury has had this case in their hands for an hour and a half now, let me just say this: Whether the verdict comes back guilty or not guilty, there are no winners here, people. There is a dead 2 year old little girl who never had a chance to defend herself from anything or anyone. If she was murdered or accidentally died, she had no choice – she was defenseless. The disfunctional family she once was a part of has been ripped apart even more. You want my opinion? There was duct tape on the body – the 2 YEAR OLD BODY – thrown in swamp – like water. Accident? Hell no. Do I think Casey Anthony did it? Let’s just say, guilty people lie and make up more lies to cover those lies and sit in a courtroom like a cold hearted bitch 95% of the time. I hope the tattoo she got while her baby was supposedly “missing” that translates into “the beautiful life” was done with poison ink.

Happy 4th of July everyone – God Bless America.

I’d be happy to hear what you think.

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Comments
  1. I was going to just say…point, set, MATCH…but I can’t get the ‘fitty cent’ outta my head now!!

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