Hard Wood vs. Hardwood

Posted: March 4, 2011 in Sports

I heard this story last night and my mind went crazy. BYU kicks forward Brandon Davies off the team for having premarital sex. Keep in mind, this is one of their best players and without him the Cougars chances of going very far in the NCAA Tournament match the number he wore on his uniform – ZERO. The coach says Brandon did the right thing by “admitting his transgressions” but stood by the schools honor code. Now, I’m not going to pretend to know a lot about this said honor code, nor am I going to insult BYU for having such a code.  But I have learned that not only does this code condemn premarital sex, it is also sinful to masturbate which if you really think about it, is a form of premarital sex – just with yourself.  It is also against the code to drink alcohol or beverages with caffeine. Apparently this code of honor is signed by kids who opt to attend this particular school and it is signed by choice. I am confused however as to why in the hell Tim Tebow ended up at Florida instead of this institution. He could have parted the waters of the Great Lake and then sang “Go Tell It On A Mountain” literally.

So as I thought about my years at Oklahoma, I tried to picture my college life without caffeine. Or alcohol. Ok, and sex. And yes this does include masturation – I’m not scared to admit it. There is no fucking way I would have made it. Are you kidding me? Put kids ages 18-23 ish on a campus together and ask them NOT to partake? Hell, not only was it expected, it was a way of life. I woke up one morning in front of the student union on a bench 98% naked (yay for those ear muffs!) and hundreds of people walked by like I was one of the statues in Heisman Park – some stopped and posed for pictures, and others just hurried off to class. It’s COLLEGE people, you’re supposed to have fun and do stupid ass shit you will regret years later!!!!! Apparently NOT at BYU. I would love to know the true statistics of how many times a day this code is broken. Are there cameras everywhere watching? Doubtful. I can’t help but wonder if good ole Brandon confessed only because he knocked the chick up. You cannot convince me that this code stays in tact even half the time.  Not in today’s world. Maybe in another lifetime – which completely explains polygamy within the Mormon culture. Think about it, these men went so long without it that when they decide to get married, they played it safe and took 7 wives – one for each day of the week. This way when one is not in the mood or has a headache, he moved on to the next. It is all starting to make sense now. These guys were gonna get all they can for as long as they can get it up to make up for lost time. So polygamy, according to my mind, can be blamed on “the code.”

Now that I have worked through that, I still can’t help of thinking of arguably the worlds most famous family of Mormons – the Osmonds. There is no way you can convince me that those Osmond boys – not one of em – didn’t particpate in premarital sex. Well, it’s probably safe to say that Jimmy didn’t – not with a girl anyway. But come on, with pearly whites like that and those fashionably hot, polyester, skin tight bell bottoms you want me to believe that those guys weren’t hammering sweet Baptist girls backstage? And let’s say they weren’t……..no mastubation? Oh please. You know Donny had his palm around his Johnson on a regular basis – maybe both palms, after all, he IS Donny Osmond. And to keep it fair – I’m quite certain Marie was flicking her bean at LEAST 1-2 nights a week. Damn you BYU Cougars – see the visual you have given me?  I have visions of self pleasuring Osmonds in my head and yet I can’t help but being a tad jealous of all those beautiful teeth.

In closing, I truly believe the administration of BYU should rethink this code and let the college kids be college kids. Let a player with hard wood continue to play on the hardwood. I’m all for rules partnered with ethical and moral teachings, but the fact is the Honor Code will NOT win you a trip to the Final Four.

Until next time – don’t forget to floss, kids!

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Comments
  1. Chad says:

    Hey Leesa,

    Didn know you started your own blog. Congrats. Very true with everything you have said. I went on a huge rant yesterday about this issue.

    Its so hypocritical when all they do is preach pro creation and wanting to form families with values. What’s wrong with kids experimenting wanting to have sex before marriage? Sometimes it takes a couple of relationships or sexual partners to realize what you want in life.

    If you wait to have sex when you are married it could present further problems down the road because you may regret the opportunities missed earlier in your life.

    Furthermore, all the polygomy going on in Utah? Its absurd you cant fuck before you are married but after the fact no problem have 20 different wives.

    Corrupt religion getting in the way of sports now!!! I cant take it anymore.

  2. aj says:

    Shit I’ve broken three rules on the code today & that before I found out about the caffeine thing!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!

  3. Billdozer says:

    Ok, I realize that blogs are usually just the ramblings of someone’s opinion. Some are entertaining, some are ignorant and others are just plain wrong. Now while there are those who would believe that an opinion can’t be wrong, my counter punch is this… There are a select few who have the opinion that Michael Jordan is not the greatest basketball player of all time. Not only is that opinion dead wrong, it makes me envious of the blind and deaf! Now with all that said… let’s move on to my opinion about this particular topic…

    Expectations are sometimes a tough thing. If you buy a car, you’re expected to pay the car note. If you have a child, you’re expected to provide, love and care for that child. If you accept admittance into Brigham Young University, you are expected to follow the Honor Code. Now I’ll be the first to admit that the Honor Code at BYU (along with some other schools i.e.- Notre Dame) make it difficult or damn near impossible to live the “full college experience” as described in this blog which include (if I’m interpreting this correctly) drinking, partying, drugs, premarital sex, etc. I myself would not enter into such an institution because quite frankly I enjoy all the aforementioned “sins”, however if you want to attend one of these Universities, you must agree to adbide by the rules.

    And it isn’t like BYU administrators made this up along the way (See NCAA Violations Commitee for more on that particular subject!). EVERY student (athlete or not, scholarship or not) knows WELL BEFORE HAND that there is an Honor Code that you must adhere to in order to attend Brigham Young University. If you feel you can’t adbide by that code or a certain set of rules…. it’s simple, you find another university to attend. I’m sure there were plenty of other basketball programs in need of a power forward that won’t kick you out for drinking, fucking and such (insert your favorite Ohio State joke here).

    As far as Mormons, Church of LDS and their beliefs towards polygamy… that is the biggest misconception this side of Magic Johnson having HIV/AIDS. That however is another debate for another time.

    Brigham Young University should be given an award for sticking to their guns on this one. I applaud thier efforts. In this the day and age of Cam Newton’s alleged “dad who is a Pastor” but auctioned off his kid to the higher bidder and Pryor’s Used Car lot, BYU and it’s administration are beacons of light and sticklers for following the rules. If more universities followed the rules and stuck to their guns, we would have alot less “Tressel-gates” in the college sports world that I love so much.

    It’s real simple, follow the rules! If you don’t like the rules, fight to change them or find another school. If you break them, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. And if you absolutely feel you have to party your ass off, get drunk, fuck, flick your bean, jerk your pole or whatever (when you’re supossed to be getting an education mind you), I hear that Oklahoma is a great party school… give them a try! I hear Bob Stoops is always accepting applications. Of course, this is all just my opinion…

    Empty your tank,

    Billdozer, the Vanilla Gorilla

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