It’s Only A Game

How many times have you heard “it’s only a game” in your lifetime? I know have – too many times to count. I am guilty, however of forgetting the true meaning of the word “game.” If you want the official definition, look it up. I have discovered that in sports, a true fan can experience an entire wheel of emotion while watching their favorite team. For example, I had the pleasure of watching the St. Louis Cardinals win the 2011 World Series. In that series alone, I was excited, nervous, happy, mad, and even amazed. I cheered, I laughed, (come on, the Rally Squirrel is kind of funny), I yelled, I smiled, and I cried – if you have read my blogs, you know why I cried. When the Sooners lost last Saturday the emotion of being straight up pissed off surfaced. Yes, a sports fan lives in a world of emotion that only another avid sports fan can understand.

Joe Paterno was the head coach of Penn State football for 46 years.

Here’s something I don’t understand: Penn State University and the lack of responsibility that has been discovered. As we all by now are aware, things are not so happy in Happy Valley right now. What is happening in University Park is a disaster of epic proportion. A disaster that could easily tip a Richter scale or blow the Fujita scale right the hell away. There is no way to measure the damage this disaster has done and will still be doing for a long time after you read this. This is not a natural disaster – in fact – it is the furthest thing from natural I can think of. This disaster was man-made.

Honestly, “man-made” is not a good adjective. The monster behind the sexual abuse allegations does not deserve to be called a man at all. Jerry Sandusky has made Happy Valley look worse than the Neverland Ranch. What’s so disturbing is this thing is far from over. There are more details that surface every day and more  (alleged) victims that come forward as the investigation continues. Just today, there was a news story that one of the most recent victims – both under the age of 18 is actually a family member. The more I hear, the more disgusted and pissed off I become.

When Joe Paterno was fired after 46 years as the Nittany Lions head coach, all hell broke loose on campus. Students rioted when they heard the news. “Hell no , Joe won’t go” is what they were yelling. I watched the news thinking to myself, wow, I didn’t realize there was a special education program at Penn State. I wonder how many short buses it took to get this group of idiots to the riot site? After that question, a more burning question arose: Paterno is fired,  Graham Spaniard, Penn State President , is fired, athletic director Tim Curley is fired and vice president Gary Schultz is fired. ALL WELL DESERVED. Deserved because they turned their backs on young boys who were being abused on campus by an ogre who had been investigated for sexual abuse of a minor since at least 1998. There is no one out there that can convince me that the cast of characters I just named knew nothing about this. And then there’s Mike McQueary - the Howdy Doody red – headed son of a bitch who says he witnessed Sandfucksy raping a young boy in the shower. He thinks it’s ok to go home and tell his dad and then the next morning go to JoePa’s house and tell him. Excuse me, Mike, look the American public in the eye and try to explain that, if in fact you did see this happening, why in the blue hell you did not wrap your hands around that old perverts neck and choke him til he hit the floor and then beat the hell out of him just to the point of where he was in severe, permanent pain. Death would be too easy. Why the fuck is Mike McQueary not terminated. Administrative leave? I don’t get it, I truly don’t.  Listen up Penn State student rioters, your beloved iconic coach turned a blind eye to what was going on for YEARS. And when I say blind, please don’t blame it on the Coke bottle glasses he wears because he can barely see anymore. Doing the bare minimum is not good enough. Hate to break to you kids, Joe Paterno is NOT a saint. And it’s not just him and the others I mentioned. Every single person from law enforcement who did nothing years ago, the prosecutors, the staff at Second Mile…the list goes on and on. Everyone involved should be held responsible for this tragedy. From Penn State to the State Pen. I really hate to quote Hillary Clinton, however, it DOES take a village and apparently University Park, Pennsylvania has more than one village idiot. Look at the big picture, people – this goes way beyond the game of football.

As a college football fanatic, I understand coach worship, but I also understand ethics and being of a moral sound mind. These people were not. This is not kids going to trade a signed jersey for a tattoo. It is not a booster “supporting” players by giving them gifts and buying them dinner.  It’s a damn shame a storied football program has to be at the center of this circus. I feel bad for these players who were living the dream of playing for the great Joe Paterno and then suddenly had their mentor taken away. They will, hopefully understand why one day – if they don’t already. It’s tough when someone you admired and worshipped comes under the spotlight for their wrong doings, or in this case for what should have been done and wasn’t. I feel bad for the supporters and fans, the families who had no clue what was going on. It is heartbreaking. But – it is NOT about football. It is about a disturbed “man” who took advantage of his power to sexually abuse and rape (allegedly) young boys. The victims of these horrific acts is what this should be about. Penn State winning the Big 10 should be the least of your worries. This is not about football. Football is just a game.

As you sit down to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and enjoy a day of football, please think about these kids if only for a moment. I find it hard to believe that they will ever enjoy a normal Thanksgiving dinner again. I hope they have the strength to make it through this without being scarred more than they already have. And while you’re at it, say a little prayer – if you believe in prayer – not only for the kids, but for the for the family of Garrett Uekman, a red shirt freshman tight end for the University of Arkansas who was found dead Sunday morning in his dorm room.  Unfortunately, more prayers are needed for the families of Oklahoma State women’s basketball coach, Kurt Budke and his assistant Miranda Serna as they are having to face this first holiday without them after being killed in a plane crash last week. Brandon Weeden, the quarterback for OSU apparently received some negative messages on Twitter after the Cowboys lost to Iowa State Friday night. His response said it best. He said Oklahoma State lost much more than a football game this week.

Oklahoma State Women's Basketball coach Kurt Budke and his assistant Miranda Serna

                                                                                     

Red Shirt freshman tight end for the Arkansas Razorbacks Garrett Uekman.

Clearly, it has been rough going the past couple of weeks in the NCAA. I have a lot to be thankful for – I hope you do too. I hope your teams win this weekend – unless they are playing mine. But most of all, I hope we can all keep in mind: it’s just a game.

P.S. There is a book out there called, ironically, Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story. Don’t buy it. If you have it, burn it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Be thankful for who and what you’ve got. 

 

Follow me on Twitter:  @soonerleesa     email: leesa@shesaidsports.net

My friends: www.morencysports.com    www.mykaussie.com    www.intheOT.com

http://www.craigballard77.blogspot.com

www.prestigeblogs.webs.com

Me, my dad, and the World Series

It was no ordinary series. This was personal. Yes, I am a fan and wanted to see the Cardinals win, but there was so much more. In fact, I think Tony La Russa should publicly acknowledge the fact that my dad was silently sitting in the Cardinals dug out since September as his silent partner. I believe that with all my heart. Since his sudden passing 17 months ago, I’m sure  Dad has been planning this all along. The ONLY reason it didn’t happen last year is because I’m positive he has been marking the chalk lines waiting to throw the ball around and have batting  practice with his all time favorite player, Stan Musial. Yes,  my dad is waiting for Stan the Man preparing for when him and number 6 will one day be playing ball together on the ultimate field of dreams.

Let me take you to the end of August 2011. By August 25, the Cardinals had played their 130th game of the season and were 10½ games behind the Wild Card leading Atlanta Braves. They were written off to make the play-offs by most people – including myself, because of that large deficit. (enter my dad into the dugout) The team began the month of September at 72-64 and 8½ games behind both the Wild Card and Central Division leaders. Now, my dad has never been a Braves fan, and he clearly decided it was time for the Braves to go into a tail spin – and did they ever. They finished the final month of the season going 9-18. At the same time, the Cards went 18-8 to finish the season at 90-72, one game better than Atlanta’s record of 89-73, and won the National League Wild Card on the final game of the regular season. Exciting way to get into the post season? You bet it was. In fact, it marked the largest comeback in MLB history after 130 games played (only 32 regular season games remained), and the second largest comeback in the month of September. Nice job, Dad. Not only did you work your magic to get them to the play offs, you did it in style.

St. Louis enters post season play against the Philadelphia Phillies for the NLDS. The Phillies were heavily favored to win the 5 game series. Someone forgot to tell the Cardinals that. The Cards took the series 3 games to 2 and advanced to the NLCS for the first time since 2006.  There’s your Philadelphia Freedom, Phillies, enjoy your off-season golf game earlier than expected. Or as my dad would have said, “suck on that, Philadelphia. Take your Philly Cheese Steak and shove it up your asses. ” Dad always did have a way with words.

We go from cheese steak to sausages. I usually like playing with sausages, but not in this scenario. Milwaukee Brewers and the Cardinals meet in Milwaukee for the first 2 games of this series. The teams split 1-1 and headed to St. Louis. The Cards took 2 out of 3 games at home and went back to Milwaukee where they grilled the Sausages in game 6 and won 12-6. This gave St. Louis their 18th National League Pennant.  This ties them with the Dodgers and Giants for the most pennants won in the National League. Not only that, but it proves that Busch trumps Miller beer. Come and get it, everybody….the sausages are done and we are going to the World Series!! I’ll be honest. I had a tear in my eye after this win because I could physically feel the excitement from up above.

Let the REAL series begin.  World Series 2011. St. Louis Cardinals vs. Texas Rangers. The Rangers are making a return appearance as American League champs. They were in this same spot last year when they lost to the San Francisco Giants 4 games to 1. 2011  would prove to be a much more dramatic series.  Especially that epic game 6. Let’s start at the beginning though……..

Thanks to the National League winning the All-Star game, the Cardinals had the privilege of home field advantage. Game one at Busch: Cardinals win 3-2. This is when you just knew it was going to be a good series. You could feel it in the air. Game 2, also in St. Louis was a damn good game. Scoreless through the first 6 innings, Allen Craig pinch hit a single to right field which drove in David Freese for the score. 1-0 Cards. The 8th inning was scoreless and I started getting a little pre-mature moisture – I was thinking, wow – the odds are pretty good we could win this whole thing if we go up 2 games to none. Then comes the 9th inning.  The Rangers score 2 runs and wind up holding the Cards scoreless in the bottom of the ninth to tie the series 1-1 going to The Ballpark at Arlington. The pre-mature moisture instantly became the Sahara Desert.

Game 3 – Rangers Ballpark at Arlington.  After a total of 8 total runs scored in the first 2 games (please don’t let my arithmetic skills shock you into thinking I am some sort of genius) the Home Run Gods decided to make an appearance. Babe Ruth and Reggie Jackson laid their long ball hands upon the bat of Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols and he went yard 3 times. Yes,  3 homers in a one World Series game. And I’m not referring to the presence of George W. Bush, Joe Buck, and Scotty McCreery. I mean Pujols hit 3 home runs in game 3 tying Ruth and Jackson for the most home runs in a World Series game. The score was 16-7 giving the Cardinals the series lead 2-1. Those 16 runs were the most scored in a WS game since 2002. In case you’re curious, the Yankees hold that record at 18 scored way back in 1936. Game 4 was a bust – for the Cards anyway. They were shut out 4-0 as the Rangers tied the series at 2. The St. Louis bats were clearly exhausted from the night before and makes this match up a lot more interesting now. Game 5 is still in Texas, and the Cards took an early lead, however the Rangers came back and took the lead in the series by winning the fifth game 4-2. The Texas Rangers are 1 game away from winning their first World Series Championship in franchise history – BUT – they are going to have to do in St. Louis. I’ll be the first to admit I was wrong when I said the winner of game 5 will be the ultimate champions. Yes I was wrong, but it didn’t come easy for the Cards. Boy was it not.

Game 6 – St. Louis Busch Stadium. First it was postponed because it was predicted there would be severe weather in the area. And THEN the cardinals managed to pull off one of the greatest come-from-behind wins in the Series’ history, twice coming back from two-run deficits in the ninth and tenth innings, both times down to their last strike. It was definitely a roll of Rolaids moment.  David Freese tied the game at 7–7 with a two-out, two-strike, two-RBI triple in the bottom of the ninth against Rangers closer Neftalí Feliz. However, in the top of the 10th, the Rangers regained the lead after Josh Hamilton hit a two-run homer. In the bottom half of the inning, Ryan Theriot’s RBI groundout followed by Lance Berkman’s RBI single brought in Jon Jay with the tying run. After holding the Rangers scoreless in the top of the 11th, the Cardinals won the game with David Freese’s solo walk-off home run shot to dead center field. The win forced a Game 7 for the first time since 2002. I could not move away from the TV. I grew up on a baseball field and this was the best game I believe I have ever seen. This is why it is called the Fall Classic. 

 I don’t need to tell you what happened next. The St. Louis Cardinals at home beat the Texas Rangers 6-2 to win their 11th title. 11 in 11. As I did a victory dance around my living room, it did not take long to feel that aura all around me. I sat down on my couch and looked at a shelf looking back at me. On that shelf is a St. Louis Cardinals bear that belonged to my dad. Next to it is what was his favorite Cards cap, and a Stan Musial signed baseball all laying on a pennant that hung on his wall. I then put my head in my hands and cried like a baby. I cried because in my heart, the Cardinals had just won the World Series for my dad and because of my dad. I cried because I miss my dad and didn’t get to say everything I needed to say. And I cried, because at that moment as I felt his smile and I remembered it is because of him I love sports as much as I do. Though that may seem like an odd thing to cry over, sports brought my dad and I together in many ways. I cried because I miss him.

          

So, as another baseball season ends in a Cardinals fan victorious fashion, I will end with this: Thank you Cardinals for an unbelievable season. Thank you Rangers for one of the best series ever. If you are reading this and still have your dad, or if you are a dad, spring is not that far away – take him or  your kid to a ball game and make some memories.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @soonerleesa    EMAIL: leesa@shesaidsports.net   or just comment here!

Check out my friends: www.morencysports.com   www.mykaussie.com   www.intheOT.com

www.prestigeblogs.webs.com

http://www.craigballard77.blogspot.com

The NFL’s new Handshake Rule

It’s week 6 and the pussification of the NFL continues.  First the “tuck rule” and now by the end of the upcoming week the Hard Handshake Rule” will be implemented. This rule, of course will only apply to coaches. I’m not sure if it will apply to all coaches or just head coaches yet or just how it will be worded, but we can thank Jim Harbaugh for having too hard of a handshake.

If you have not heard or have watched the video of what happened that led to such lunacy, let me paint you a picture. The San Francisco 49′ers went to Detroit to play the undefeated Lions. Now I know if you haven’t being paying close attention to the NFL this season you are asking yourself, “Did she just say the UNDEFEATED Lions?” Yes, yes I did, and I am referring to the Detroit Lions that play in Ford Field. Don’t get too excited, because after today, the Lions are no longer in the ranks of the unbeaten. The 49′ers ultimately won the game 25-19.  As usual, the coaches meet in the middle for the traditional handshake. This is where the “Great Handshake Debacle” begins.

Apparently Jim Harbaugh – the head coach of the 49′ers – was excited his team went into a hostile environment as a slight underdog and ended up victorious over an unbeaten team. Your first mistake, Jim: you are a head coach are you are not supposed to show excitement. How unprofessional of you. Then you have the nerve to shake Jim Schwartz’s hand too hard and slap him on the back. I’m going to save you from having to do a Google search – Jim Schwartz is the head coach of the Lions – hence the reason Harbaugh shook his hand in the first place. If you were to type Schwartz’s name into a search engine, a picture of  Baby Huey would appear.

According to Schwartz, he went to congratulate Harbaugh and “got shoved out of the way. And then I didn’t expect an obscenity at that point, so it was a surprise to me at the end of the game.” When asked to clarify, Schwartz simply said it can be seen in the video. I saw the video. What I saw was one coach slapping another coach on the back and shaking his hand. This was followed by the coach in blue getting pissed off then chasing Harbaugh towards the tunnel only to have staff, assistant coaches and players to restore some kind of order. Oh, by the way, this is a real story….just in case you were wondering.

Now, I will give Schwartz the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there were some obscenities, I don’t know – I couldn’t tell by the video. Even if there were, does this require him to go straight up Charlie Sheen crazy? Must be the Tiger Blood flavored Gatorade on the sidelines leftover from Detroit Tigers loss to the Texas Rangers the day before in the American League Championships. (This refers to baseball for my friends who don’t follow sports but still read this because I force them to) I mean, seriously Coach Schwartz, you chased the man almost 40 yards down the field because he gave a passionate hand shake and slap on the back? Oh, and apparently said something obscene. Don’t you think the mature thing to do would have been to just let it go and then go home and tell your mommy and let her call Mrs. Harbaugh? Nooo… you needed to chase him down like the whiny bitch you are. You do realize, you almost matched your team’s total rushing yards against the 49′ers in that one “play.” Perhaps you should have used that energy in the locker room instead of being a sore loser and chasing after the other teams coach who maybe was a little too jubilant at the wrong time.

Jim Harbaugh did apologize after the game. He said he did give a hard handshake and that it was “his bad and on him.” So he is sorry that his handshake is too strong? Don’t be sorry, Jim Harbaugh. It’s not your fault that Schwartz is a puss and is extra sensitive. Blame the Lions training staff for not providing him with a Pamprin. Now, both coaches will probably get fined. Why? Schwartz will be fined for being a lunatic and Harbaugh will be fined for being passionate and  happy when they met mid field for a handshake. Pay attention coaches of the NFL: start using Palmolive at home from now on when you’re washing dishes, because from here on out, only soft handshakes will be permitted on a football field. Come to think of, you would think Harbaugh’s handshake would have softened up a little by now. After all, he does spend a lot of time in San Francisco.

With that being said, I have known all along that Jim Harbaugh has strong hands. There was never a doubt in my mind. It’s no secret that I have had a major crush on Jimmy Harbaugh since the first time I laid eyes on him – way back in the day when he was QB for the Chicago Bears. I am in no way excusing his harsh (sarcasm) behavior towards Jim Schwartz – but I sure would LOVE to know the obscenity that was used. I can only imagine that it was something like “Good game, Schwartz. I’m gonna go home and slap Leesa on the ass just as hard as I did your back.”

A girl can only dream.

P.S. The St. Louis Cardinals just won the National League Championship and are headed to the World Series to face the Texas Rangers. My dad must be celebrating in heaven right now. It’s going to be a great series. I can’t wait! GO CARDS!!!!

On a serious note: Prayers to the family of Dan Wheldon – 2 time Indy 500 winner. He tragically lost his life in a horrible crash at a race in Las Vegas today. He leaves behind a wife and 2 young children. Though these will be sad and dark days ahead for his family and the sport of racing, this man died doing what he loved best.  RIP.

 

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa      email: leesa@shesaidsports.net

Check out my friends:

www.morencysports.com

www.mykaussie.com

www.intheOT.com

http://www.craigballard77.blogspot.com

Are You Ready for some Red River Shootout Football?

Oh Bocephus…..you may have been Born to Boogie, but apparently you weren’t born to make analogies. 

As you have most likely heard by now, Hank Williams, Jr. made a comment comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler. That’s what the news stories say anyway. I read the comment, and I think a lot of people have been in Hank Jr.’s stash, because what he said was just , in fact, an analogy. He was not saying President Obama and Hitler are alike. Well, duh. Last time I checked, Hitler was not black. Or tall. Or married to Michelle Obama. Now, THAT would be a new Family Tradition.  I’m not going to quote the comment in fear of being googled by left-wing tree huggers. (Actually, that would be kinda fun) I will let you read the comment for yourself and make up your own mind. Just a word of advice, when you do read it, turn down your Dixie Chicks CD. Their music may influence you in a democratic sort of way.

Now, as a result of said comments, ESPN decided to yank Hank Jr.’s opening to Monday Night Football. You know the one. Are you ready for some football…..a Monday night party…….all my rowdy friends are coming over tonight blah blah blah. Last night ESPN said, “although Hank Williams, Jr. is not a direct ESPN employee, he is closely linked to our company through the open to “Monday Night Football.” We are extremely disappointed with his comments and as a result we have decided to pull the open from tonight’s telecast.” Wait, you mean the song wasn’t played? Damn, I guess I didn’t notice. Perhaps it’s because I actually leave my TV on mute until the game actually begins. Sorry Hank, as much as I enjoyed your music in the 80′s (NOT) I haven’t been able to tolerate the opening to Monday Night Football for several years now. Don’t get me wrong, I happen to think that ESPN took this opportunity to get rid of Hank once and for all. It’s about time, fellas. It’s time to live in the now. We need a fresh voice. Think of the possibilities…….I hear Vanilla Ice is available. Oh! How about MC Hammer?   ”STOP!    Football time!!!!!” Genius. He will be playing at the prestigious Tulsa State Fair this weekend – I can make a call if you like. So there ya go ESPN, the door was opened and you walked right through. Yes, I’m sure you are pleasing a lot of people who are disgusted by his comments, but in my opinion, it wasn’t a terminating offense.  I do want to add that I would be willing to bet that deep down inside, Hank Williams, Jr. truly doesn’t give a shit. When you ask, “Hank, why do you drink? Hank, why do you roll smoke?” He’ll laugh and say, “Why must I sing for ESPN, it’s a joke.” What surprises me is, ESPN is using the fact that Hank used a Hitler reference to pull his song from MNF. Ironic. This is also the same company that operates the communist Longhorn Network.

Speaking of that aforementioned network, let’s move on to the important sports news of the week. OU vs. TexASS is this Saturday. That’s right, it is hate week, ladies and gentlemen. Now those of you who are reading this who are neither a Sooner or a fan of that other team, you may skip right along if you wish, because the rest of this article is all Red River Shootout related. And no, the Red River Shootout is not the name for my period. It is the 2nd Saturday in October when the glorious color of Sooner red and burnt ass orange come together to make Longhorn cookies. It’s a simple recipe: add Texas football players in a big Cotton Bowl and beat them for 3 hours. Simple. And they taste delicious. Not so delicious if you forget to add victory, which will not happen this year.

It is a fact that the Sooners and the Donghorns have no love for one another. It makes for a heated rivalry when the Cotton Bowl in Dallas is split right down the middle with an equal amount of fans from both teams. There are violent bar fights in the West End the night before the game between fans, ugly name calling,  and intense football the next day. It is also a fact, that this is one of the biggest rivalries in college football. (Simma down Ohio State and Michigan fans, I said ONE of the biggest.) The game typically has conference or even national significance. Since 1945, one or both of the two teams has been ranked among the top 25 teams in the nation coming into 61 out of 66 games. It’s no different this year as Oklahoma comes into the game ranked #3 in the AP Polls (#1 in the Coaches Poll) and the other team is ranked AP #11. This is a big deal, folks. The Golden Hat and Sooner pride are on the line. Both teams come into the game undefeated. TexASS fans come to the game with their diplomas displayed on their dashboards so they can park in handicapped spots. It is truly a special time.

College Game day will be broadcasting. (I wonder if Hank, Jr. will be asked to sing the National Anthem? Yeah, probably not.) Lee Corso will choose between the Sooner Schooner hat or his normal attire of horns atop his head. All of this takes place amidst the background of the Texas State Fair. Corn dogs, funnel cakes, turkey legs and football. Ferris wheels, roller coasters, carnival games and the farm animal exhibits. Blowhorn fans can relate to those – in more ways than one. Farm animals remind me: What do you get when you cross a University of TexASS fan and a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig would not do.

So get ready for Red River war ya’ll. Bob Stoops has the Sooners ready to open a can of Oklahoma Whoop Ass on the Cotton Bowl field  Saturday. The schooner is ready to rock. Landry Jones, Ryan Broyles, Dom Whaley, the Cali trio, Travis FREAKIN Lewis – ALL ready to grill some Bevo burgers and I hear Tony Jefferson is hungry for some more interceptions this week.  The only news I’ve heard from the other side is that Mack Brown is only dressing 20 players for the game. The rest have finally learned to dress themselves.

I cannot wait. Boomer Sooner, bitches. Let the games begin!

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @soonerleesa

EMAIL:  leesa@shesaidsports.net

Take a gander at these guys:

www.mykaussie.com

www.intheOT.com

www.prestigeblogs.webs.com

College Football and Vagisil

It’s only the second weekend of college football and my beloved Sooners already have a bye. This leaves me with A: A lot of other games to watch and B: Idle time on my hands to write an article about the games I have been watching so far.

 It’s almost 5pm Tulsa time – so todays “big game” has yet to be played. I am referring to Michigan and Notre Dame set for kickoff later tonight. Speaking of this game, you would think that these 2 teams collectively have found a cure for cancer because they are playing a night game for the first time in the Big House. That’s all they seem to be talking about on ESPN. Football at night? No way. Hey baseball, take note, these guys may be on to something.  Seriously, relax people. A fucking switch is being flipped – it’s not like the fans are all being asked to fly kites with a key attached to the string and hope for a storm. Oh that’s right, that couldn’t happen because if there is lightning within 6 miles, the game will be called off/postponed.

One of the games I am currently watching while writing this is Oregon vs. Nevada. The only “game” being played here is to see how high the Ducks are going to run the score up on the Wolf Pack. The score is 41-7 at halftime. This is of course, an Oregon team who lost their season opener to LSU in Dallas. So what we have is a bunch of pissed off Ducks. More importantly, every Saturday is Fashion Week with this team. Today’s ensemble apparently came from the Vera Wing’s ”Just Say No to Green” Collection. (No, that is NOT a typo – Vera WING is of course the designer to the Ducks.) They are sporting neon yellow jersey’s with grey pants and numbers. Their helmets are a glittering silver glistening  under the Eugene sun with a yellow O on the side shining just as bright. I’m not sure why they don’t set up a runway and have Tyra Banks show their pictures one by one as they strut their young, athletic bods down the middle of the field as they are being introduced instead of running out of a tunnel. It’s a good thing the Oregon cheerleaders remembered the school colors. They are, indeed in yellow AND green. (make that score 48-7 by the time this paragraph was finished thanks to an Oregon scoring punt return) Yawn.

I did watch most of the Auburn – Mississippi State game. I love games with a dramatic ending, and this one was. The Bulldogs were this (__) close to tying the score with 10 seconds to go, but somehow, someway Auburn finds a way to stop the touchdown and win yet another game. I’m beginning to think Jesus wears an orange and blue robe on Saturdays.  I bet if he does it’s #34 with hand stitched JACKSON on the back. Now THERE’S a football players name: Jesus Jackson. Seriously, who is gonna tackle Jesus?

SCORE UPDATE: Oregon 55  NEVADA 13     Still 3rd quarter. I smell a comeback.

So now let’s touch on the most entertaining game of the day. Wisconsin Badgers and the Oregon State Beavers. I must warn you. If you do not appreciate 12 year old humor, then you should stop reading right now. Oh, and by the way, a badger is a weasel – in case you didn’t know – that bit of information may come in handy in a minute. It all started with the kick off. The announcer says “Parker is the deep man for the Beavers.”  I know, all you guys are thinking, lucky bastard. But wait. It gets better. First of all, I found it ironic that the quarterback for the Beavers last name is Katz. I’ll give you a second or 2 on that one.   ——— Then I hear “3 and out for the Beavers.” I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a good night to me.  One of the few times that Oregon State was actually moving the ball, Mr. Announcer says ” Good protection for the Beavers.” So does this mean there’s a slim chance the beaver contracts an STD or perhaps avoids an unwanted pregnancy? At least they’re responsible. There is no way I could broadcast a Beaver game without being fired from giggling at the innuendos throughout the entire game. I mean come on, when I heard, “Peter is blocking the Beaver” you can’t convince me this wasn’t said on purpose. At one point of the game I heard “There is an injured Beaver on the field.” Hello Tampax…….why aren’t you sponsoring this team? If the beaver is a bleedin, Tampax is there to save the day. Perhaps they prefer Always with wings, I don’t know. I would think a tampon would be more comfortable when tackling a bunch of weasels – but that’s just me.  As I went on a Facebook and Twitter posting frenzy, my friend replied telling me his girlfriend was watching a Wisconsin game last year and mistakenly thought the announcers were saying Vagers instead of Badgers. There’s a game for ya – Beavers vs. Vagers. Welcome to collegiate lesbian football. Beavers and Vagers tackling each other and rolling around the field like a pool full of jello. And of course, like the Florida Gators introduced Gatorade on the sidelines, the Vagers would have an endless supply of Vagisil waiting to be squirted and rubbed all over the head coach when there is victory.

Speaking of hearing things wrong, as I continued to watch the weasels pounding the beavers, I mistook a name myself. The Beavers have a kicker named Hekker. I thought I heard……..well you do the math. That’s right, if he makes the kick,  Pecker scores for the Beavers. Pecker missed. The final score of this game was 35-o showing that the Badgers weasled their way down the field and penetrated the Beavers zone a lot. I did see a couple of nice sacks from the Beavers, which frankly just confused me. Oregon State could not stop Wisconsin – in fact, as my friend pointed out, you could drive a Mack truck through that gaping hole in the Beavers line. When all is said and done, I pray to the college football scheduling Gods that they schedule a game between the Beavers and Game Cocks.

Oh yeah, I bet the Vagers uniforms would be slick! 

And so I wait for tonight’s game and the miracle of stadium lighting in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Go Blue.

FINAL SCORE UPDATE: NEVADA 20  (and ironically) OREGON  69.  You can’t make this shit up.

TOMORROW IS THE 10th ANNIVERSARY OF THE 9/11 TRAGEDY. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Follow me on Twitter:  @soonerleesa

Email: leesa@shesaidsports.net

Check out my buddies: www.mykaussie.com, www.intheOT.com, and www.prestigeblogs.webs.com

The Girl’s Guide to Fantasy Football

This is dedicated to AJ – my biggest and one of my original fans. If it weren’t for fantasy football, we would not have ever met.

I recently bought the 2011 Fantasy Football Guide on my way to work. As it lay on my desk I noticed a couple of girls looking at it like it was covered in Anthrax. “Who left that on your desk?” When i gave the answer that it is mine, they asked why I would spend money on a magazine that is not Cosmo or Vogue. When I attempted my explanation of my fantasy football, they looked at the cover and said “oh,  well he looks like he could be sorta cute.” The “he” they were referring to is Aaron Rodgers. After this conversation, I decided it was time to make a SheSaidSports Girl’s Guide to Fantasy Football. Please bear in mind that during this research, I have proven something I already knew: most professional football players are not that physically attractive. Yes, they all have smoke shows for wives and girlfriends, but let’s be real. It’s because a professional athlete is like a rock star and has a fat wallet. With that being said,  this is not your normal fantasy football guide – this one is for the girls. I have even added some visual aid for my number one picks. I am going to list my choices in the same order the magazine does which means I am starting off with the quarterback position. Now being the educator that I am, I will briefly describe what the quarterback’s role for his team is. A play usually begins when the quarterback takes a snap from the center and then either hands off to a running back or a receiver, passes to a receiver or a running back, runs the ball himself, spikes the ball or takes a knee. He is known as the play caller in huddles. Now, according to the magazine, the top 3 choices for someone’s fantasy team are: the cover boy himself, Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packers), Michael Vick (Philadelphia Eagles), and Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints). While I cannot argue with these picks, I will reveal the SheSaidSports picks for MY fantasy team:

Mark Sanchez – New York Jets  Stats: Height: 6-2   Weight: 225   Age: 24   Sanchez is in his 3rd season in the NFL and he played college ball at USC.  I’ll be real honest, there weren’t any QB’s that moistened my panties, but Mark’s last name helped him win this title. After all, after looking at this GQ picture, what girl wouldn’t want a little Dirty Sanchez? My runner-up are Matt Cassel (KC Chiefs) and, as bad as I hate to say it, Tom Brady (New England Patriots).

The next position is running back. The running back carries the ball on most running plays and is also frequently used as a short-yardage receiver. Running backs, along with the wide receivers, are generally the fastest players on the offensive team. These guys are sometimes referred to as tail-backs or half-backs. According to the magazine, the top 3 choices for running back are Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings AND former Oklahoma Sooner – BOOMER!), Arian Foster (Houston Texans), and Chris Johnson (Tennessee Titans). All good choices, statistically. Let me just say this is my favorite position. (that’s what she said) When abbreviated, running back is RB which is so appropriate because my choice for number 1 RB is RB himself:

Reggie Bush. Stats: Height: 6-0   Weight: 203   Age: 26               This Reggie’s 6th season in the NFL and also played college ball at USC. This season he will be taking his talents to Miami. Now Reg has had a rough go of it lately. The break up of him and Kim Kardashian, he had to give up his 2005 Heisman Trophy and the Saints traded him to the Dolphins. Don’t you worry, Reggie, I have an award for you, it’s called the Hymen Trophy and you can have mine. Reggie Bush is hot, hot, hot. That is all. Oh yeah, the runners-up: Ryan Matthews (San Diego Chargers), and Jahvid Best (Detroit Lions)

Moving right along to wide receiver. The wide receivers are speedy pass-catching specialists. However, they can be bigger if they still can get open and catch the ball. Their main job is to run pass routes and get open for a pass, although they are occasionally called on to block. Fantasy Football Guide selects the following 3 as their top WR picks: Andre Johnson (Houston Texans), Calvin Johnson (Detroit Lions), and Roddy White (Atlanta Falcons). As hard as it is to believe, my choices do not match the magazines’. My number 1 WR?

Danny Armendola - St. Louis Rams. Stats: Height: 5-11   Weight: 186   Age: 25  This is his 3rd season and he did NOT play college ball at USC. He played for Texas Tech. He maybe the 52nd choice of the magazine that declares itself the “Professional Edition” , but in the world of SheSaidSports, he is number 1 – and I consider myself a professional woman. The runner ups? Miles Austin (another K.Kardashian reject and a Da…Dall….Dallas Co – sorry my keyboard will not allow me to type those words) and Austin Collie (Indianapolis Colts).

Now let’s touch on the tight end. Tight ends play on either side of, and roughly next to, the tackles. They are a mix between a blocker and a pass receiver. The magazine chooses Dallas Clark (Colts), Antonio Gates (Chargers), and Jermichael Finley (Packers). All good choices, but I do admit if I HAD to pick from these 3, I would choose Finley before the other 2. Although tight end sounds like sexiest of positions, I could only find 1 guy that was worthy enough to make this list. Call me judgmental, but remember, I am creating a fantasy for a girl. Who has won the position tight end on team?

Brent Celek - Philadelphia Eagles  Stats: Height: 6-4   Weight: 255   Age: 26   Brent is entering his 5th season in the NFL after playing college ball at Cincinnati. Next time you pose for a picture, Brent, please lose the wedding ring. There are maybe some girls that are scouting you for their fantasy team that actually have morals and consider discovering what becomes between you and your Calvin Kleins as wrong. But before you let your ego swell from this honor, please remember you won because there was really no competition.

That brings us to the most important position of all. (enter sarcasm) The kicker. The kicker is considered part of the special teams.  He andles kickoffs and field goal attempts, and in some cases, punts as well. I have actually won fantasy games because of the points that the kicker has given me. The top 3 in the “guide” are Stephen Gostkowski (NE Patriots), Nate Kaeding (San Diego Charges), and Sebastian Janikowski (Oakland Raiders) Once again, I will not argue these selections. I, however once again, have  completely different choices. My top kicker is:

Garrett Hartley - New Orleans Saints  Stats: Height: 5-8   Weight: 196   Age: 25               This is Garrett’s 4th year in the NFL and kicked many balls for drumroll, please…..THE University of Oklahoma. (please stand up and clap while I sing Boomer Sooner as loud as I can) Not only did he go to Oklahoma, he also kicked the winning FG to against the Vikings to send them to Super Bowl XLIV in which they beat the Colts. He became the first kicker in Super Bowl history to convert three field goals of 40 yards or more. Hartley is now the highest paid kicker in the league. I’m sure it’s because of getting his education at OU. Hartley is just cute – especially his hair. He’s got the kind of hair that I like to describe as “freshly fucked.” Boomer Sooner, Garrett! Runner ups include Neil Rackers (Houston) and Ryan Succop (KC)

So there you have it – the major offensive positions that are used in fantasy football.   In most leagues I play in we pick an entire defence/special teams so I’m not going to break those down. I will tell you that my first choice every single year for defense is the Pittsburgh Steelers. This will not surprise anyone that knows me. If the Steelers are already picked when it comes my turn, I will pick the Atlanta Falcons because I feel a special bond with their defense. There are a couple of leagues I’m a part of where we select a head coach. This selection is usually used as a tie breaker – if the coach’s team wins, you are given 1 point. So now I will reveal to you my number 1 coach pick.

Jim Harbaugh - San Francisco 49′ers. Stats: Height: 6-3   Weight: 215   Age: 47   I have been in love with Jim Harbaugh since he played as a Chicago Bear and an Indianapolis Colt in the 80′s and 90′s. I went to Kansas City to watch the Colts play the Chiefs just because of him. It was there, in Arrowhead Stadium where we fell in love. By “fell in love” I mean acted out the ultimate stalker stunt. I hung over the tunnel with 2 guys each holding a foot keeping me from falling as he made his way up the ramp at halftime. I was professing my love for him and it was right then and there we made eye contact and the rest is history. When security body slammed me against the wall and escorted me out of the stadium, I knew they had instructions to take me to the Colt’s team bus where I would wait for Jimmy and we would happily ride away in the sunset together. Damn Chiefs security stole my love story away and escorted me out a tunnel alright. The tunnel was called Stadium Exit and made sure I made it to my car. To this very day I curse the security of Arrowhead Stadium. This will be Jim’s first year as an NFL coach, coming from a successful tenure at Stanford. I will now pay closer attention to the 49ers. Jim, call me when you’re ready to add 20 to your team’s name. I suppose it is required that I have his brother John as honorable mention since he could potentially be my brother-in-law one day. But the real runner-up is:

Mike Tomlin – Pittsburgh Steelers. Mike, you are the epitome of cool.

You coach my beloved Steelers and you have swagger. I didn’t think I would approve of anyone replacing Bill Cowher so quickly, but you had me at Super Bowl XLIII. Mike also happened to play, you guessed it – my favorite position of running back….just like Reggie Bush.

So there you have it – the first annual SheSaidSports Fantasy Football Team. It’s a start for those of you are not fantasy football educated. Fantasy Football…….I love you.

Follow me on Twitter: @soonerleesa

Email me: leesa@shesaidsports.net

Check out: www.intheOT.com

www.mykaussie.com

www.prestigeblogs.webs.com

5 Facts About the allegations against the U….SheSaidSports style.

They call it “The U.” The U must stand for Underarm, because right now, the University of Miami is definitely the armpit of NCAA scandal. As I’m sure everyone has their own opinion on this subject, I am here to give mine. You didn’t think I would pass this one up did you?

Let’s first sort out what we know to be facts.Fact number 1: SOMEBODY really pissed off Nevin Shapiro and he sang like a bird. When I say sang like a bird, I mean opened his big, fat mouth. Here is a guy who is in federal prison for his Ponzi scheme involvement and apparently decided he is going to retaliate on his beloved Miami Hurricanes that he was a proud booster of for several years.

Fact number 2: Looking at the pictures of Nevin Shapiro that accompanied the now infamous Yahoo! Sports article that broke this story, booster is the perfect adjective to describe him. I’m pretty sure he needed a booster seat wherever he went. To drive, in a movie theater, at a restaurant table. Wee, little man with deep, deep pockets and a devoted fan – the perfect storm for rampant NCAA violations. After reading these allegations, the kids at Ohio State must feel like they are the Mickey Mouse Club.

Fact number 3: I have never liked Jimmy Johnson. This goes back to his days as coach for Oklahoma State and especially the Dallas Cowboys. Nope, I am not a fan. I did however love how he called Nevin Shapiro a “jock sniffer.” This term just makes me laugh, However, there is some truth to it. After all, they call girls who chase and only date athletes “jersey chasers”. Jock sniffer is the perfect, literal name for Mr. Shapiro given his stature – or lack of. Johnson also had the best reply to one of Shapiro’s allegations I have heard.  Shapiro described taking some players in question to party on his 1.6 million dollar yacht. Johnson said, ” A million dollars? That’s not a yacht. That’s a boat.” Jimmy, I still don’t like you, but well played, sir.

Fact number 4: According to the Yahoo! report, the Miami booster gave millions of dollars to no less than 76 Miami football players — some of it to subsidize strip-bar journeys, prostitute services and subsequent abortions. If the Yahoo report is verified by an NCAA investigative committee, the wrong-doing would certainly dwarf the infractions recently committed by, say, the University of Southern California. Yes, I used the word dwarf.  There have been rumblings that the NCAA may bring down the “death penalty” against the Canes football program if the investigation finds truth to the allegations. This is a punishment that the NCAA hasn’t dealt since they handed it down to SMU back in 1986.

Let’s discuss said “death penalty.” When Southern Methodist got busted, the investigation found that 21 players receiving approximately $61,000 in cash payments, with the assistance of athletic department staff members, from a slush fund provided by a booster. This is a program that had already been placed on three years’ probation in 1985 for recruiting violations. At the time, it had been on probation seven times (including five times since 1974), more than any other school in Division 1-A. The penalty? The 1987 season was canceled; only conditioning drills (without pads) were permitted until the spring of 1988. All home games in 1988 were canceled. They were allowed to play their seven regularly scheduled away games so that other schools would not be financially affected. The university ultimately chose to cancel the away games as well. They lost 55 scholarships over 4 years and the team’s existing probation was extended to 1990. The bowl ban and live tv game ban was extended to 1989. The team’s existing probation was extended to 1990. Their bowl ban and playing live tv games ban was extended until 1989.The team was allowed to hire only five full-time assistant coaches instead of the typical nine. And last, but not least, no off-campus recruiting was permitted until August 1988, and no paid visits could be made to campus by potential recruits until the start of the 1988–89 school year. HOLY PENALTY! And to think that SMU cooperated with the investigation. If they hadn’t,   would have the Mustangs would have had its football program shut down until 1989 and would have lost its right to vote at NCAA conventions until 1990.  This is just a mere drop in the bucket compared to the allegations against “The U.” Perhaps the U stands for Ugly. Ugly is what it already is and only going to become uglier.

Now, I don’t think the NCAA will actually give the death penalty to Miami. It won’t be pleasant though. Taking away scholarships will really hurt. After all, one of the boosters who “sponsored” some of the players is now imprisoned. Taking away tv rights will definitely be an ass kicker. It goes without saying how important the tv revenue is to a university. What is a fair punishment if the investigations rule against the Canes football program?

Here’s  an idea…..put all these mother fuckers on the Island of Misfit Toys. Let the kids who follow the rules find a program that seems to follow the majority of the rules and play football. I say majority, because I’m not so naive to believe that rule breaking doesn’t occur on most teams. Of course it does, but not to such a degree that it causes havoc across the world of NCAA football. Schools are bailing the conferences they’ve been in for years for other conferences in hopes of more tv time and better chances for a BCS bid – there’s chaos in the NCAA right now. Just take the major rule breakers, and put them in their own conference and let them play for the OSWGC conference championship. OSWGC being an anagram for “Oh Shit We Got Caught.” So far there’s Ohio State, USC, and of course “The U”. Some say Oregon should belong, but I am not convinces yet. Let’s not forget North Carolina and the hot water their football team is in. Yes, it’s true nobody in Chapel Hill really cares because it’s not the team that plays on the hardwood, but every conference needs a team that every other school beats the hell out of. We can throw Texas in the conference because between the Longhorn Network controversy and Mack brown, they’re pretty much fucking themselves. Of course we want to make the conference have an even amount of teams, so I say throw Notre Dame in there since those Irish bitches seem to think they’re better than everyone else and don’t need to belong in a conference. That should be the biggest infraction of all. The OSWGC conference will NOT be televised live nationally, but the devout fan can catch the replays on Hulu a day or 2 after the game has already been played. The top 2 teams will meet in the post season in the KY Bowl. It’s appropriate as they’re gonna feel like they’ve bent over for the soap in a prison of men who haven’t gotten any in several years. Maybe then the “U” will mean “Uh oh, the tube is dry.” Yes, this thought of such a conference is completely satirical.

Let me end with this thought: There are so many more innocent kids out there just trying to live the dream to play football than there are dumb asses who can’t follow the rules and can’t resist the urge to give into the almighty dollar. Maybe the NCAA needs to go after the bad seeds only and not an entire program. Maybe they should shine the light on douche bags like Nevin Shapiro and the others that turn their heads while knowing this is happening. Shapiro is in prison – federal prison – but away from the general public as he should be. Does the NCAA need to take a look at some of the rules? Possibly, but first they need to focus on administration and athletic staff and their inability to be good role models and learn how to follow the rules themselves. Open your eyes. If a kid is driving a Cadillac to class and he is there on a full ride football scholarship, chances are there’s something funny going on. Ignoring what’s going on around you is just as bad as doing the bad deed yourself.

Before you send your smart ass comments - which I welcome and always reply - yes I am well aware of  the Failure to Monitor charges against Oklahoma a few years ago.

Fact number 5:  I LOVE college football and I HATE seeing it tainted and corrupted - no matter what team.

The U…….Unbelievable.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @SOONERLEESA

EMAIL ME @ LEESA@SHESAIDSPORTS.NET

CHECK OUT: www.intheot.com ; www.mykaussie.com ; and www.prestigeblogs.web.com